


before you go

by moonplums



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alpha Uzumaki Naruto, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Feminization, Infant Death, Insecurity, Intersex Female Alphas, Intersex Male Omegas, Loneliness, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild Gore, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Multi, Nightmares, No Uchiha Massacre, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Uchiha Sasuke, Panic Attacks, Past Underage Sex, Polyamory, Pregnancy, Protective Uzumaki Naruto, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reconciliation, Slut Shaming, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, True Mates, Uchiha Itachi Being a Good Brother, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Vaginal Sex, Victim Blaming, everyone whose paired with sasuke is an alpha, its between an omc and sasuke, its not between sasuke and any of his mates tho, kind of, lee is kakashi and gais son in this one too, mostly done by sasuke towards sasuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26285113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonplums/pseuds/moonplums
Summary: sasuke is an omega of prophecy, meant to bring the tensions between the clans of konoha to a standstill, destined to bring together traditional shinobi families and regular villagers, destined to introduce the uchiha blood into other clans, and produce an heir for various future clan heads, bringing harmony to the village.instead, he runs away from the village at fifteen, is brought back by his saint of an older brother, and has to be evaluated as to whether or not he even deserves to play his role anymore
Relationships: Aburame Shino/Uchiha Sasuke, Akimichi Chouji/Uchiha Sasuke, Deidara/Hidan/Hoshigaki Kisame/Kakuzu/Sasori/Uchiha Itachi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Neji/Uchiha Sasuke, Inuzuka Kiba/Uchiha Sasuke, Konoha 11/Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru/Uchiha Sasuke, Rock Lee/Uchiha Sasuke, Tenten/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Yamanaka Ino, every combination of those 12 you can imagine basically
Comments: 137
Kudos: 314





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> honestly there just a lot to unpack in this one so pls read all the tags before u decide to go on. if you dont like these themes pls just dont read this  
> just some notes to clarify some stuff  
> -this is set in the naruto world, but tbh just throw 99.9% of canon right out the window. dont even think about canon. canon doesnt exist here.  
> -sasuke left the village at fifteen, and is nineteen currently  
> -deidara, sasori, hidan, kakuzu, and kisame are all just normal ninja from their own villages, except, you know, they're still s rank and rly powerful  
> -minato and kushina r alive and minato is still hokage  
> -sasori is still a puppet master. but not a puppet  
> -hidan is still a jashinist, but his practices arent violent like canon. basically mans just prays a lot without the human sacrificing. so hes not immortal. id go into more detail but hes not rly more than a side side character in this so far so theres not much point tbh.  
> -kakuzu is still money hungry but he only got one heart. and it beats for itachis pouty face

Itachi was the one who finally found Sasuke and brought him back home. 

It had been four years since his little brother had left the village. Four years of constant tracking, searching, finding, battling, and escaping. The battling was few and far between, and mostly all had been done between his brother and his various mates, but still. 

Itachi had been desperate to be the one to find his brother. The clans now had various groups scouting the lands for the omega of their future clan heads, and Itachi worried what they would do to him out of anger due to his desertion. 

He was so desperate that he had rounded up his own mates, and begged and pleaded with them to take time away from their own work to help him find his younger brother. Some of them, like Deidara and Kisame, had been easy enough to convince. They were near slaves to their precious Omega. All Itachi had to do was plead prettily and they would agree to nearly anything. The rest of his loves...well. They needed a bit more convincing. He needed to promise Sasori that he would pose for his next project, and he had to promise Hidan they would make time in the mornings for his prayer. Kakuzu was the hardest nut to crack. It wasn't until the omega became obviously enraged that he stopped nagging about the money he would lose taking time away from his work and agreed to help. 

“Sasuke,” Itachi wept, clinging onto his brother's back as Sasori completed the seals on his eyes and hands. “It's been so long, you've gotten so big.” 

“Finally caught the little bastard,” Deidara said with a laugh as he plopped down on a nearby rock. 

Deidara quickly corrected himself at the sight of Itachi's stern glare. “Ah...I mean, the precious little darling, hmm, Sasori?” 

“Hmm,” Sasori replied sarcastically, keeping his eyes locked on the younger brother of their mate. “Is he really out, Itachi?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” Itachi said, now with Sasuke's head resting in his lap. None of them were completely convinced. They had all helped Itachi track his brother at one point or another before, and they had all learned the hard way he could be a tricky little bastard when he wanted to be. And he always wanted to be. 

“Didn't he nearly blow the legs off one of his own mates?” Hidan asked, peering over at Itachi as he did some preparations for his prayers. 

“Neji can walk perfectly fine now.” Itachi answered dismissively. 

“And didn't he try to stab one of the other ones?” Kisame wondered aloud. 

“He didn't actually hit Sakura. He just wanted to scare her.” Itachi said defensively. 

“Didn't he almost flood another one's clan’s super special magic forest?” Deidara questioned thoughtfully. 

“That was a misunderstanding.” Itachi insisted calmly, gently stroking Sasuke’s hair out of his face. 

They all looked at their omega doubtfully. Really, the three instances they brought up were just the tip of the iceberg. Sasuke had given all of his mates several injuries over the years, and had done quite a bit of damage to all their clans and the village as a whole. Nothing too major, no loss of life, but nonetheless extremely irritating, and, for the mates themselves, painful as hell. 

“I wished we had caught him a few weeks earlier,” Itachi said with a frown. “We missed his birthday.” It was now mid September, and they had been on their relentless hunt since the beginning of July. Over two months of scouting, searching, starving, but it had all been worth it in the end. 

“Oh no.” Kakuzu mumbled sarcastically from somewhere in the treeline. “Not the brats birthday.” He nearly didn't dodge the kunai that was flung at his face on time. If he hadn't done so much training with the omega lately, it might have even landed. Which would have hurt like hell. Itachi had been aiming for his cheek, but still. It probably would have cracked his jaw and dug deep in the meat of his face. 

“Kisame,” Itachi began. “As soon as Hidan is done, I’d like to start heading home.” 

“I’ll carry him.” Kisame offered easily. 

“Thank you, my love.” 

///

Sasuke woke up just as they were crossing into fire country. They were about half a day from Konoha, if they didn't stop. As soon as Itachi saw his brother was awake, he had insisted they did. 

Sasuke was shockingly quiet, though it didn't seem to deter Itachi at all. The younger omega was surprisingly docile as Itachi hand fed him soup he had coaxed Deidara into making for all of them. 

“Are you ready to come home, then?” Itachi asked quietly, all of his mates pretending as if they weren't curiously listening in on their conversation. Even Hidan was taking his sweet time setting up for his praying session. 

Sasuke opened his mouth for more soup in answer. 

“Mother will be excited to see you,” Itachi told him affectionately, carefully making sure nothing dribbled down his face. His Mother had been depressed ever since Sasuke had run off from the village all those years ago. Itachi had promised himself that she would be the first one he would inform of Sasuke's return. He had already sent his raven ahead to alert her, making her swear to secrecy. 

He probably should have told the Hokage first. He knew that, he knew, and yet, a part of him couldn't bear to make their mother wait any longer than she had to. The rest of them could wait a few more hours, but a mother who loved their young shouldn't have to. 

“She’s likely the only one,” Sasuke finally responded to his brother's insistent prodding. 

“That's not true,” Itachi insisted. “I’m very happy you're coming home. The Hokage will be pleased as well.” 

“I’m sure.” Sasuke said, and Itachi was sure he was rolling his eyes around underneath the seal. “Mother will be most pleased when they throw me in prison five minutes after I return.” 

“Nonsense,” Itachi snapped. “You're not going to jail. Father would never allow it.” 

“Father really doesn't have much pull, seeing as his child is the one who pissed off nearly every other clan head and clan heir in the village.” 

“Shh,” Itachi scolded. “We will handle it.” 

Sasori thought quietly to himself that their mate was being quite overbearing, but knew better than to say anything. He would be stepping out of line, and it would only displease Itachi and make him hostile towards them. Itachi was the mothering sort, especially when it came to his brother. Overly protective, always hovering, nearly obsessed with showing how much he cared. The borderline neglect that Sasuke had received from his father in his early years of childhood had probably triggered Itachi to make up for it, and he only continued to do so as they aged. 

Sasuke's scent peaked with irritation, but Itachi ignored it, stuffing his brother's mouth full of more soup to silence him. 

“They're going to seal up my chakra.” Sasuke muttered. “As much as they can.”

“Probably.” Kakuzu said from where he was staring deeply into the fire Itachi had quickly put together for them. 

“Kakuzu,” Itachi warned. 

The older alpha shut his mouth and looked away. Right, it was best to let Itachi handle his brother as much as possible. Itachi had been so distressed ever since his brother had left. The omegas skin was itching with a fire to do all the tending himself. 

“They might,” Itachi relented. “But I’m sure...I’m sure, that, with time, you’ll get all of it back. At the very least, you’ll still have free range of your eyes.” 

“Funny,” Sasuke muttered, tilting his head away from Itachi. “Seeing as you're the one who had them sealed up to begin with.”

“It's just until we get home.” Itachi reassured him, a silent plea in his voice to be forgiven. Sasuke hummed, but they all could smell Sasuke wasn't actually mad at his brother. Annoyed, if anything, and that was just in general, not specified towards Itachi. 

Sasuke let Itachi feed the rest to him in silence, only showing off his displeasure with the pout that wouldn't leave his face. 

Sasori rested his head against Itachi's thigh, shutting his eyes for a nap, off to his chaotic dreams in a matter of seconds. Itachi felt so warm, so comfortable. He was overjoyed, his omega was purring like it hadn't in years. He had his mates all together for the first time in a long time, and he had his little brother back. Soon he would be back with his sire and his dam, and Sasuke would be with them, and it would be like when they were young again. He would feel complete, in a way he hadn't felt in so long. 

…

They reach the village at dusk. Chains laced with chakra had been wrapped around Sasuke's arms, all the way up to his elbows, and all the way down to the tips of his fingers, covering up the seals that had already bonded his hands together. Two chains wrapped around his torso, and around his thighs. Hidan carried on end of the chains, walking behind Sasuke, with Deidara holding the other, walking in front. 

Itachi had been hesitant about using them. Kushina had gifted them to him specifically for securing Sasuke though, and he didn't want to offend the mate of the Hokage, so he made sure to put them on Sasuke before they entered the village. 

“Yes,” Sasuke said icily as Itachi had carefully locked them. “They're going to be thrilled I’m back.”

“Kushina-sama made them,” Itachi said, though he didn't have to. Sasuke could feel her chakra. Part of him had thought, or rather hoped, that he would forget what it felt like. But just like his own mates, the chakra of their sires and dams was embedded into his senses. They didn't do the same things to Sasuke's body as his mates did, but still, he knew them like he knew the chakra feeling of his own parents, of his own brother, his own clan and blood. 

“Glad to hear she still has so much hope in me,” Sasuke remarked snidely as they passed into the village. He had thought there would have been more of a commotion, but it appeared as if those guarding the gate were going to allow Itachi to hand deliver his brother to the Hokage himself. 

Sasuke could feel gaping and gasping at the sight of him. Could smell the spikes of shock, the hints of fear, the bewilderment. His skin itched, and his chest felt a bit heavy. He hadn't been around this many people in so long. For once, he was thankful his eyes were covered so at least he didn't have to see all the stares and the whispering going. 

There seemed to be a celebration of sorts going on a few streets over, and 

Ah, was it a certain man's birthday today?

“Deidara,” Sasuke called his brother in law. 

“Hmm?” 

“What's today's date?”

There was some muttering and some brief cursing before Deidara carefully said, “The 15th,” sounding like he wasn't all too sure of it himself. 

“I guess I’ve ruined that guy's birthday,” Sasuke said with a smirk, heart being irritatically as he heard the murmuring getting louder, Itachi politely getting them through the crowd that seemed to have collected. 

Wind flew through his hair, rustling around his clothes, spreading his scent into the air. He couldnt mask it without free use of his chakra, and it cascaded down the street and through the village like cherry blossom petals flying in an april dusk, alerting everyone in the immediate area of his presence. 

“Is it going to rain?” He heard someone mutter distantly, and nearly snorted. It reminded him so much of that damn  _ idiot.  _ Couldn't people tell the difference between someone's scent and the scent of actual real life nature?

“It's too sweet to be real rain…”

“Couldn't you have at least put scent blockers on me?” Sasuke asked no one in particular.

“No time for that, kid.” Kisame said, sounding as if he was in a grand mood. 

“You had two months…” 

“Your scent spreading will save us some time.” Itachi piped up from the front. “Deidara, make sure he doesn't trip.”

It was like not a day had past since he had last entered the tower. Back in the days when he and his former team would hop up the steps to receive their next D list mission, that blonde idiot yelling at his father like he wasn't the Hokage, complaining about the simplicity of the missions. 

He sensed no one on the lower floor. They must have cleared out because of him. 

Everything smelled the same. The wood of the banisters, the maple scent deeply embedded in all the flooring, musk, citrus, silk, a touch of heat, grass, sour apple, all the scents of those that went in and out of the tower everyday. The temperature still dropped ten degrees as soon as you stepped over the threshold, making a shiver run up his spine no matter how much he tried to not shiver like a little dog coming in from the rain. He could hear those little annoying birds that never shut the fuck up even though they were supposed to be sleeping by now, right outside the lower windows. The floor still creaked right before the steps, the steps soft and slippery like silk because shinobi steps were too light to rough them up right. Everything was the same. 

The scents that welcomed him on the top floor made him stop in his tracks. Just for a moment, before he could help himself. He picked back up so quickly Hidan didn't even have enough to slam into his back, and hurried to catch up with Deidara so Itachi wouldn't notice and pitch a fuss. 

“I’ll take him from here.” Itachi said, stopping right where Sasuke knew he would. He had counted the steps so many times before, he didn't even need to see to know where he was going. He hadn't forgotten any of it. “Hokage-sama probably won't let you stay anyways.”

“Right.” Sasori answered, and Sasuke felt him sweep past him, probably to say his goodbyes. Gross. 

“We’ll be in town, Itachi.” Hidan said as he handed over the chains to the omega. 

“I’ll catch up with you later.” Itachi paused. “It’ll probably be late.”

“Understood.” 

Sasuke listened as they left, standing still until he heard the bottom of the stairs creak five times in a row, and then the front doors came to a shut. 

“Let me see you.” Sasuke felt Itachi's toy with his hair and adjust his clothes. He pulled at the shirt that was opened up all the way down to his navel, and heard his brother sigh tiredly. 

“They're not going to like that.” Itachi said to himself. 

Sasuke shrugged. It wasn't like he had time to change or anything. 

“Are you ready?” Itachi asked softly. The knowledge that they were probably being overheard right now made his skin prickle irritably, so he just nodded. He would never be ready. Standing outside the doors with Itachi for a few more minutes wasn't going to help him. Or so he told himself. He unconsciously stood as close to his brother's warmth as possible. 

Itachi knocked. 

“Come in,” 

Snakes heart pounded at the sound of the man's voice that answered. He had been like another father to Sasuke. Hell, there was a time where he had been more of a father to him than his own father had been. It felt like a whole other lifetime ago. And yet, the most distracting thing to him right now was that scent. 

That scent, of sitting under a tree, taking a nap together, the wind rustling through their hair and their clothes, caressing their tired bodies, the smell of the grass and the earth, of oranges Kakashi had brought them and they had torn into, so exhausted and hungry they barely tasted them before they slumped down together against the bark, sap drying into their hair. 

Itachi pushed the doors open, and guided Sasuke into the room, pulling so gently on the chains Sasuke hardly felt anything at all. 

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke's heart was beating so hard and so fast he was afraid everyone could hear it. 

He worked a smirk onto his face. Unbothered. Unphased.  _ I don't care.  _

“It's been a long time, Naruto.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this kinda took me awhile. i know much of what i want to do with this story but for some reason i struggled with this particular scene

“Sasuke-chan,” -Sasuke's lip curled at the endearment- “So, you've finally come home.”

Sasuke wanted to roll his eyes, but even underneath the coverings over his eyes, something wouldn't allow him to. 

“It seems like it.”

“Itachi,” Minato said, happily. “Take off the eye seals.”

Even his brother paused. “Um...Lord Fourth-”

“Do it,” Minato insisted, not unkindly. He heard his brother's soft confirmation and then could feel the seals being undone, the fabric finally slipping off his face. Sasuke had closed his eyes, and slowly opened them, eyes obsidian and lacking any hint of the lethal red. 

His eyes were gifted the sight of his most endeared father-in-law, smiling pleasantly at him from behind his desk. Behind him on one side stood Kushina, arms crossed tight over her chest, wearing a disapproving look. Her hair was tied up in a severe looking bun and her blue eyes were stern looking, but her irises trembled. Naruto stood behind him on the other side, and Sasuke was caught off guard by just how much he had grown, how much he had matured over these last few years. It had been years since they had been this close to one another, as Sasuke always made sure to keep any fighting between them long distance, so Naruto couldn't try and talk to him. His hair had gotten longer, his shoulders had gotten broader, his arms had gotten thicker, biceps twitching from keeping his hands crossed behind him. Sasuke felt absolutely feral for a fraction of a second, before he turned his eyes back onto the Hokage. 

“Ah, you're all grown up now.” Minato said with a beaming smile. “Isn't he even prettier, Naruto?”

“Dad.” Naruto said, pointedly looking at the wall. 

“Right, right, sorry. I can't help but be a doting father-in-law, I haven't seen you in a while.”

“That's not  _ your _ fault,” Kushina reminded him. Sasuke felt vaguely betrayed. Of all his mates' parents, Kushina had always been one of the few who had always been gentle and caring with him. She had advocated for him in a way few of the others ever had. He knew he didn't deserve her kindness now, but it still stung him. 

Minato smiled at his own mate. “Now, now, Sasuke is back now, so there's no need for hard feelings between us parents and him. However,” Minatos smile fell, and his gaze turned serious and steady. “We also cannot let your previous actions stand without proper response.”

“Mm, jail is it then?” Sasuke asked, sounding bored. “Execution, perhaps?” Itachi's fingers tightened on his shoulder and Naruto's eyes snapped to his face. Even Kushina looked vaguely disturbed by the suggestion.

Minato just laughed. “No, no, of course not.” He sobered. “Besides, you'd like that too much.” Sasuke smiled faintly. It seemed Minato still understood him, after all this time. Despite everything, despite how much he had changed from the happy, foolish little child he had once been. Minato hadn't seen him in so long, but he still seemed to understand. 

“Someone must have suggested it, though?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Minato told him. 

“Huh.” Sasuke thought that over. “Not even Hiashi?” That man was the only one Sasuke outright refused to refer to as his father, in law or otherwise, unless the man was actually in front of him. 

“Nope.”

“Wow.” Sasuke shifted in his seat. “Jail?”

“No.”

“Let me guess, eternal seals and made to be brainless breeding stock until my uterus shrivels up and falls out?” 

Minato looked pleasantly surprised that he had gotten it on his first all original try. “You haven't forgotten him at all, have you?”

“Sasuke.” Naruto gritted out.

“What?” Sasuke blinked innocently. “I’m sure you'd enjoy that enough.”

Naruto looked like he wanted to move towards him. To slap him, or shake him, Sasuke wasn't sure. He held himself back, which surprised Sasuke quite a bit. Usually, he was such a man of action. Never violent towards him when they were children, but things changed, as they always did.

“Enough, Sasuke.” Itachi said, voice tight, fingers pressing hard into the bones of his shoulder. Sasuke didn't think he realized how hard he was holding him. 

“So are we going with that then?” Sasuke asked, ignoring his brother for the moment. 

“And have your mother kill all of us? I don't think so.” Minato said cheerfully, suddenly going through some of the papers on his desk. “Many of us found the idea unpleasant as well, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Thank you for your consideration then.” Sasuke considered for another moment. The idea made his heart clench, but he forced it out of his mouth anyways, “Then, perhaps, you're going to sterilize me so I don't tatter your family lines?”

He got three glares from across the desk, all of them quite powerful, and a nearly broken shoulder at that. That wasn't going to happen then, he assumed. 

“Understood.” Sasuke muttered, suddenly feeling wilted. He busied himself with looking out the window. Right, now giving heirs and possibly introducing the sharingan into a line of each of their clans was all he was good for. 

Just then, the door burst opened, and a voice he hadn't heard in years filtered through the room. Warmth blossomed in his chest, and all of a sudden, he felt more safe than he had since before he had left the village. 

“Sasuke!” 

An ANBU guard went flying across the room when he tried to intercept the approaching women, and the next thing Sasuke knew, he was being lifted up from the chair and pulled tight into the warmth of his mother's arms, his brother's hand falling off him. 

Sasuke could feel tears burning behind his eyes, wishing he could hold his mother back, but he was still chained up, and could do nothing more than lean against her. She rubbed his back, which trembled underneath her touch, but she didn't call him out on it. When she pulled back, she caressed his face, wearing a relieved expression, tears damping her face. 

“I’m so happy that you’re finally home, that you’re okay.” Her fingers were like silk on his skin, and for an instant, he wanted to give in, to let his tears fall, to tell her of all his pains these last few years, and let himself be comforted. 

“Mikoto.” 

Sasuke froze at the stern voice, the previous feeling evaporating, lowering his head as his mother turned to face his father. 

“I know. I just wanted to see him first.” His mother tilted up his head. He tried his best to smile back at her. “I’ll see you at home.” She squeezed his arms reassuringly. 

So they were actually going to let him go back there. He had been half convinced he was going to be thrown into the Hyuga housing and be beaten out in the yard with a stick every morning and night until they were satisfied, until he was ready to serve their purpose for him. 

Sasuke kept the slight smile on his face until he lost view of his mother's shoes and the double doors closed shut. There were three others standing by his father and he already knew who they were, he did not even have to look at them or try to pick up their scent. 

He was pretty sure his mother had been the only person besides his brother and Minato that didn't want to beat his face in at the moment. He watched as his father walked across the floor.

Sasuke almost flinched when the slap came, open palmed and hot across his face. It was so hard he fell back down into the chair, but he managed to not make a noise. Even after all the battles he had fought, his father's slap hurt like nothing else. His father glared at him for a second before turning back to the Hokage. 

“Father!” Itachi cried indignantly. 

“Quiet, Itachi.” 

Itachi quieted, coming around the chair to check on Sasuke's face. There were already bruises blossoming on his face. Sasuke knew he would have to wear it around until it faded, this was part of his punishment. 

He watched over Itachi's shoulder as Shikamaru came around to stand with Naruto, looking at Sasuke with a cocked hip, crossed arms and an expression on his face that told Sasuke he was extremely irritated to be dealing with such a troublesome matter. 

Were they really going to submit him to a full meeting right out of the gate like this? He already felt exhausted. He wanted to go home, say hello to Shiro, and then steal him away to his room to sleep for a few days. Maybe his mother would feed him some of the tomatoes she grew, and maybe Itachi would come in and pet his hair when he was feeling particularly tired of the world.

That wasn't going to happen, he was sure. He looked out of the corner of his eye as Shikaku and Kakashi followed his father to the Hokage desk. One in law had called, and the others had all come running it seemed. 

Kakashi paused by him, eyes ranking over the bruises littered across his face. Sasuke knew it was coming before he even raised his hand. It was even harder than his fathers, and his head snapped to the side, his neck not being able to take the pressure. Still, he didn't make a noise. 

“Kakashi!” 

His brother stood before him, standing nose to nose with the older Omega, sharingan whirled to life, lips still curled from the snarl he had let out. 

Kakashi glared back at him, looking like he wanted to argue, before deciding against it.

“Enough.” Itachi growled at the room at large. “Beating him isn't part of his punishment.” He glanced over at his father, eyes enraged. “Are you going back on your promise to me?”

Ah, so Itachi must have argued for it to be left out. Surely a condition for him and his mates to go out as a group and track him down. Which meant someone, somewhere had been pushing for that to be a part of jithe conditions of him coming back. Personally, Sasuke thought he might prefer a swift, unpleasant beating than whatever hell they were going to force on him to try and reform his ways. He already saw his life for the next few weeks, months even, as boring and bleak. 

Sasuke glanced up at the frowning boy-no, he had become a man since Sasuke had been gone-who stood next to Naruto, hip still cocked and arms still crossed. 

“Do you want a turn, Shikamaru?” Sasuke offered snidely. 

“Don't tempt me.”

Itachi turned on the young alpha as if daring him to actually follow that threat. Shikamaru raised his arms up in surrender, surely thinking slapping Sasuke and fighting Itachi would be far too much trouble for him. 

“Troublesome omegas…” Shikamaru muttered darkly at Naruto's shoulder.

“Shut up, Shika.” Naruto snapped. 

Minato had ignored the event all together, and was now passing around quite a thick collection of papers around the room. Sasuke notably didn't get one. He tried to strain his neck to look at Itachis, but his brother just patted him on the head. He took that to mean his brother was looking at them with his best interests at heart. 

After reading it, Itachi lowered it into his field of vision. Sasuke skidded over the formal parts and went right towards the end, where half a hundred demands were listed at least. 

_...manner training, etiquette by specified clan lessons, prevented from using any and all jutsu for a time no less than six months, eight month suspension of sharingan usage, must have an alpha escort while in the main village, must have an escort of any sort if wandering the Uchiha compound, dress modestly, not allowed to wear shinobi garb, suspended from all shinobi work for a minimum of two years, the wedding ceremony should be continued on with in a timely manner with no more than six months wait upon return, minimal three week house arrest, proper surveillance while at home, must continue academic study of clan techniques without practice… _

It was just as bad as he thought. 

He could already feel a migraine forming. 

…. _ subject will be submitted to the soul search jutsu two months after return, the subject should perform certain duties to benefit his clan community, pregnancy is expected within a year... _

Sasuke went rigid. Itachi swept a piece of hair off his face, fingers soft against his cheek, and Sasuke knew most of these conditions were nonnegotiable. The jutsu was his biggest concern at the moment. There was nothing more intrusive than that, for his memories, feelings, and thoughts to be broadcasted against his will, to truly test and view his innermost character. The offspring didn't surprise him, he had known long ago he was expected to produce at least one child for each of his mates, though an extra was certainly welcomed as well. Sasuke had long accepted that most of his twenties and thirties would be spent pregnant if everyone got his way. When he was younger, the idea had only made him happy. Now, when the prospect was so close to actually beginning… 

Sasuke was clearly dissatisfied. No one paid him any mind. He could really do nothing about it. He knew the course of his life had been foretold long before he had ever been born. It was one of many, many reasons why he had wanted to have his time away from the village while he was still young, before he was tied down to a mating or birthing bed for the rest of his life. 

“Any adjustments?” Minato asked him with a smile. Sasuke's lip curled in silent disdain for the man, something he had not felt too often towards.

Sasuke gave his brother a look and Itachi's eyes said he understood. He heard Shikmaru click his tongue, annoyed, and they both ignored him. Itachi smiled at him, gentle, caring, despite everything Sasuke had put him through, and rose his head. Sasuke was sure Itachi did not know how to hold a grudge, he didn't have a bitter bone in his body. He was so unlike Sasuke. Sasuke felt jealous of him, not for the first time. Sometimes it felt like all Sasuke knew how to do was have hurt, complicated feelings. Of course he knew Itachi had known pain in life, but he always seemed to be able to overcome it, eventually, somehow, while Sasuke let it consume him. 

“None.” Itachi answered. 

Minato nodded, a pleasant smile overtaking his face again. “Okay, then.”

“I’ll take him home, Lord Fourth,” Itachi insisted, hands tight on Sasuke's shoulders. 

“Mm, do what you like, Itachi.” Minato encouraged. “I trust you. Someone will be bringing you home, I assume?” 

Sasuke understood the agreement was to be in place at once. He could see his father, Kakashi, and Shikaku already signing something. By the first light of morning, his life would be what was written on those pages. 

“Kakuzu is waiting for us,” Itachi told him. 

Minato laughed. “I see. None of yours like to be far when they can afford it, do they?”

Itachi's smile was wide and pleasant. “It seems that way.” Itachi glanced over. “Father? Is it alright if we go ahead?”

He did not spare either of his sons a glance. 

“I leave it to you and Kakuzu, Itachi.” Fugaku said. Sasuke could feel eyes on him, and let his gaze flicker briefly over Kakashi's black stare. Once, those eyes had shown with warmth and adoration for him, and now they were hard and cold. Sasuke tried to not let that make him feel any particular way. Kakashi broke his stare, looking bored all of a sudden, indifferent, and that made a part of him ache. 

“Understood. We’ll be on our way then. Kushina-sama, could you?” 

Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath as the chains were removed from Sasuke's arms and hands, but he merely flexed them as he got up onto his feet, quickly going to his brother's sides as soon as he was free. 

“Goodnight, Lord Fourth. Everyone,” Itachi bowed low, and before he knew it, Sasuke was being shoved in half as well, a firm hand on his back. “Father, I’ll see you at home.” Sasuke let his gaze stay on the floor. Everyone was looking at Itachi, except for the two strong, heavy gazes lingering on him. He didnt dare to look back at them. If anything, he wanted to run far away from them. 

“Mmm.”

As soon as they were out the door, Itachi's pleasant smile fell from his face. When he spoke, the sweet, airy tone, and forced, heightened pitch in his voice had disappeared. 

“It was about what I expected.” Itachi said as they descended the stairs. “We couldn't ask for more, Sasuke. I had to beg and plead for you to be kept at home.”

Sasuke understood. His brother did not want him to mess this up, he had gone through great pains to get Sasuke the best treatment he could. Sasuke didn't want to let it go to waste. 

“I understand, Itachi.”

When they reached the bottom, Itachi grabbed him by the arm, and a soft smile, one that he had seen hundreds of times in childhood had returned. 

“I’m happy your home. This will be hard, but remember how much mother and I love you, yes? You have us, and we will get through this.”

Sasuke nodded. He felt tired, defeated, wilted, and worn. Itachi linked their arms together. 

Kakuzu was right outside the door and Itachi greeted him with a smile and kiss against his stitched cheek. 

“Sasuke and I are depending on you to find us our way home.”

“Please don't flirt in front of me.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this gave you all a few hints of the way sasuke grew up and how his relationship with both his mates and his mates parents were when he was younger. keep in mind, sasuke is hiding a lot at the moment, and while i wouldnt say hes an unreliable narrator, he is intentionally trying to not mention certain things. rly the main point is while there will be implications of certain things, you all are supposed to find out more of his past and how he felt about things around the same time his mates do, etc.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to point out that i had to add slut shaming to the tags~ its not a lot but i think u all should still be warned, especially bc its done towards a character when they were underage. such events will also be mentioned/happen several times throughout the story, so pls be aware of that if you find it particularly upsetting.

Sasuke recalled a time when he used to think Itachi was the most beautiful and well liked person in the village. Now, he knew the truth. Itachi without a doubt was a beauty in his own right, both in their clan and the village, but he certainly had those that didn't like him. 

He had a distant, but clear memory of cuddling underneath Kakashi's chin as a pup and informing him that his big brother was an angel. Kakashi had just laughed at him, adjusted him in his arms, and told him that that was probably true. That if anyone was an angel, it was definitely Itachi. 

Then, he got a bit older, and he heard people both in the clan and out, calling Itachi dirty words because he had gotten the attention of alphas that weren't his mates. It didn't matter that Itachi showed no romantic or sexual interest in either of them, the blame was put on him. It was even worse that the two in question were a pair of alphas who were also mates to one another, and Itachi was labeled a sinful temptation, even though he was no older than twelve. 

He still remembered an older Inuzuka calling his brother a word he didn't understand at the time, but had since learned was _whore,_ and Itachi had cried. It was the first time he had seen his brothers stoic expression break and tears to escape him in years, and Sasuke had gone and fetched Kiba and Akamaru and the three of them, plus Naruto who had joined half way through even though he didn't know what was going on, chased the older boy around until he went to the Uchiha main house with his parents and clan leaders in tow and apologized to Itachi. 

Sasuke had felt so proud of himself that day. Anytime he was able to protect his older brother, he felt pleased with himself. Itachi was strong, and did not need protection, or so he said, and told Sasuke it was his job, as his elder, to keep Sasuke safe. 

Things had been tense with Shisui and Izumi after that day, for a while. It wasn't like the two had intentionally wanted the younger omega to be ostracized. They just felt an attraction they couldn't help, and still weren't quite old enough to hide if they weren't wearing the scent blockers all young ninja wore on missions. Otherwise, it was prohibited by law.. All it took was one lick of scent on an uncovered day and it was all over. Itachi's name was sent right down the gutter. 

For months, people had said that if Itachi ever did find his mates, they would probably be too embarrassed and ashamed of him to ever lay claim to him.

Watching Itachi now, walking almost hip to hip with one of his mates, Sasuke felt rather smug. Things had been hard in the beginning for most of them, though none of it ever had to do with Itachi's forced reputation. At least not because they were angered or blamed Itachi in any way for it. It only made it better that every last one of his mates were particularly vicious, and would rip the heads clean off of anyone who dared say a bad word about their mate. 

It was nothing more than Itachi deserved. 

Just as he had those thoughts, they passed into the Uchiha compound, and they were greeted by a familiar face. 

“Look who came crawling back,” Shisui remarked from where he was leaning against the inner wall. He was grinning, however, and came to throw an arm around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke did not miss the way Kakuzu was suddenly glued against Itachi's back, green eyes shining menacingly in the darkness. It was enough to give any innocent bystander chills. 

“Good to see you, you little bastard,” Shisui tugged him over and ruffled up his hair, Sasuke having to remind himself he was pretty much prohibited from retaliating violently at the moment. Shisui was probably taking advantage. 

Itachi was smiling. Sasuke could tell it was his most genuine, soft and gentle. His black eyes shined like the night sky on a starry night. “See? Plenty of people are happy you’ve returned, Sasuke.”

Shisui nodded, finally letting Sasuke straighten up. “You should always listen to Itachi.” Sasuke could detect the hint of warning in those words. 

Kakuzu was grumbling. Itachi reached behind him to take his hand in his. His thumb ran soothingly over his fingers, attention never leaving his friend, and younger brother. 

Shisui gripped his shoulder. “I just wanted to come and greet you. It's late, I’ll try and visit during your house arrest, yeah?”

Sasuke nodded after a moment of hesitation. He wasn't sure if he wanted any visitors at the moment, but closing himself completely would not lead to anything good. He was sure Itachi wasn't going to want to leave him alone, and having someone around to lessen the burden so he could get some time away would greatly improve upcoming weeks for everyone. 

Shisui walked them to the house. He walked a few steps ahead of Sasuke, while Itach and Kakuzu walked a few steps behind him. He knew it was less about actually keeping an eye on the two, and more due to the slight tension between the two alphas of the group. 

“Tell Izumi she's welcome to come over as well,” Itachi told Shisui as they said their goodbyes at the entrance. Kakuzu looked just about ready to snatch up Itachi and run away with him, keeping him holed up in a cave in the mountains somewhere so no one but he could lay eyes upon him. If it was not for the fact Itachi could easily tear him limb from limb, as well as his utmost respect for their omega, he might have tried it. 

Sasuke stalked behind Itachi all the way towards the front door. 

Nothing had changed since the day he had left. The clan symbol taking up the walls across their front gate, the smooth doors, not a single knick in the wood that may cause a splinter, a swept and tidy front walkup. The high, white walls, not a single chip of paint missing, the perfectly trimmed and kept plants by the doors, the only difference being they had grown a bit more. 

Itachi slid the door open and stepped into the genkan, moving to the side to take off his sandals to make room for him and Kakuzu to enter. They both stopped just before the entrance, neither of them stepping inside the house. 

To put it plainly, Kakuzu had always been rather territorial, and did not like the scent of alphas that were not one of his other mates in a space Itachi was staying in. Even if it was his father, even if it was his childhood home, something about it had always irritated the alpha. He had always been slow to enter and quick to leave when it came to visiting their house. 

Sasuke...well, he had many of his own reasons as to why it was hard to reenter his family home. He had done a lot of quiet suffering here.

“Shiro, look who's home!” 

Excited, high pitched yipping was the only warning before Sasuke was viciously attacked. Shiro jumped around on his hind legs, nose burying into Sasuke's pants as the little dog hopped around halfway up his calves. 

Shiro had been a present from Kiba and his clan for his tenth birthday. He still remembered Kiba making a fuss about how close the name Shiro was to Shino, and had told Sasuke that if he was going to name his dog after anyone it should be _him._ Until Ino had told him only an idiot would want a dog named after them. 

A part of him had expected for them to take the dog back, if he was being honest. He had already prepared himself for it when they were walking home, and had wondered several times on his journey who was taking care of him in his absence. He still remembered the time he had considered taking Shiro with him, before he had left, but he had realized that was a terrible idea, and was likely only going to lead to his precious friend getting injured. 

The little dog now had a muzzle of gray hair mixed in with white, and he couldn't keep his balance on his back legs alone for as long as he used to. Sasuke's fingers shook as he squatted down, something in his chest wombling when the dog whined and leaned into his hair, so excited he was shaking against Sasuke as he forced himself into his arms. 

Shiro made himself nice and comfortable in his arms, and seemed like he would be staying there for a while, so Sasuke stood and picked him up properly. Kakuzu had finally made his way into the house, and was now wearing a pair of rather ugly house slippers in a faded salmon color, because they were the only ones they could find that would fit his feet. They had another pair tucked away in the cabinet that was built into the wall just like it for when Kisame and he visited at the same time. Sasuke still thought the orange ones his mother had gotten just for Naruto were way uglier though, and wondered if they were still there, tucked away in the cabinet somewhere. 

Sasuke sighed and stepped inside, Itachi sliding the door shut for him. Sasuke carried Shiro in one arm and took off his sandals with the other, stepping into the lilac slippers Itachi nudged towards him. Right, his old ones probably wouldn't fit that well. Probably. His feet haven't grown that much, just a size or so up, and they were still pretty dainty, just like Itachis and his mothers. 

“Mother?” Itachi called as they walked further into the house. 

“Itachi?” Their mother called back, her voice distant and far off. Itachi led them through the house, and finally found her sitting in the room that was not quite an office, and not really a library, but also not one for entertaining, nor playing. It was a room he and Itachi had done plenty of studying in when they were young, bringing over scrolls and texts from the actual library that was a few doors down, and the sight of it made his stomach churn. His mother was sitting at the low table, looking through a picture book that she snapped shut and put away. 

“Sasuke,” She breathed, and before he knew it he was being pulled back into her arms. 

Sasuke blinked himself out of the waterfall of emotions that had possessed him when he saw the room, and hugged her with one arm, the other one still clinging onto Shiro. 

She pulled back and her hands went up to his face, a frown set deeply into her features as her fingers gently glided over the bruises on either side of his face. She didn't comment on them, though, tightened her hold on him, though not enough to hurt, his mother had never harmed him in his life, now that he thought about it. Had never raised a hand to him, or Itachi. It was an impressive feat, some would say, considering how much stress they had both brought onto her life. 

“You must be tired,” She said, voice soft. 

Sasuke had to fight back the burning behind his eyes. He nodded slowly. She pulled him into her arms, and he wrapped his one free arm around her, Shiro content to be trapped in the middle of them, not making a single peep. 

When they parted, he noticed Itachi and Kakuzu had left the room. Either to go to Itachi's room or perhaps to head back into town to retrieve the rest of their mates. Sasuke wondered if they would stay in the guesthouse or if Itachi would smoothly convince them all to stay in his room. He had only managed it thrice before. 

“I missed you so much,” His mother pulled him in again, her hand was on the back of his head, pulling him to rest his forehead against her shoulder. She was shaking, and he could feel wetness fall on his back. “You…” She paused, and sniffled. “Nevermind.” 

They parted again, and her hands went back to his face. She wiped the tears off his cheeks with a smile. “None of that matters, now. You're back. You’re going to behave, yes?”

Sasuke knew his mother wasn't talking down to him, or threatening him, or demanding, she was begging, pleading. 

Sasuke nodded shakily. He wanted to tell her everything, but couldn't. So much he had hid from everyone, especially his family, and yet even now, doing everything he had done, he couldn't find it in himself to say it all out loud. He may never be able to _say_ any of it, even if they had put him on a proper trial. Perhaps, making him submit to jutsu made by Lord Second really would be the best bet there would ever be to any understanding between him, his family, his mates and their parents. 

“I love you, my son.” She said, a smile breaking her face as she shook with sobs, tear after tear marred her face. Sasuke mirrored her. “None of it-none of what's happened matters, I’m just happy you're back with us. 

“I love you, too.” Sasuke choked out, and how long had it been since he had said that to anyone? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember the last time he had told his mother that directly either. Shiro was lowered to the ground and the next thing he knew he was clinging onto her, telling her he loved her again, telling her he was sorry, but not for what he was sorry for, and thinking of how he had been half convinced he would never see her again. Here, with no eyes except the person who had birthed him and loved him all his life, only here could he let himself break apart like this. How long had it been since he had allowed himself to cry? That, too, had been awhile. 

///

Sasuke awoke with half the bruises missing from his face. The left side of his face, where Kakashi had struck him, was still blossomed angry purple and ugly blue. The marking was giant and shapeless, running from his jawline all the way up to the corner of his eye. The side where his father had slapped him was once again pale and clear, not a wrinkle of even a healing yellow left. 

Shiro was sleeping by the foot of his bed, the bottom half curled up underneath the blankets. Sasuke got up quietly, and went to wash. He knew he could probably stay in bed, he had no where else to go, and no one had come to bother him, so he likely had nothing to complete for the time being, even around the house. 

He was used to being alone, after all his time traveling. Of course, he had not been alone all the time, but he felt at peace when he had no one else for himself for company, and no longer needed someone else by his side at all times. A part of him hated himself for his past neediness, felt disgusted by the show of weakness. That is what he had convinced himself it was. 

Naked in nothing but a towel after washing, he felt out of place. He had forgotten he had no clothes on him, he had lost nearly everything while fighting Itachi and his mates. Luckily, he chanced the dresser and closet and found row after row, box after box, of yukatas and kimonos. Most of them were some shade of purple, or competitions of the various shades, with some blues mixed in here and there. There were at least a few in various different clan colors as well. He wrinkled his nose at an orange and purple kimono that was particularly beautiful, and meant for winter, and snapped the box to that one shut. 

So they had been dead serious about those conditions. He had been half expecting normal civilian clothing. He knew he probably shouldn't have, seeing him dress like any omega off the street would probably be taken as an insult to all the clans or something as equally ridiculous.

_Whatever,_ was what he finally decided. He had never minded traditional clothing anyways. Itachi and he had certainly worn it often enough in their younger years, as well as to weddings, and other formal occasions as they got older and shinobi clothes didn't cut it. He still could recall feeling jealous of how elegant Itachi had always looked in his. 

He dressed quickly, wanting to get it over with. He chose one that was thick enough that he wouldn't catch a chill, but was still rather light. One never really knew with this time of year. It wasn't like he had to think much about it besides that, it was only himself, his parents, his brother, and perhaps his brothers mates around the house. No one to really impress or look good for. Basic neatness would be enough here. 

It was late morning, he knew as soon as he stepped out onto the engawa. He had left his door open a bit so that Shiro could get out once he woke. His mother had finally led him to his room and convinced him to rest and get some sleep rather late into the night. 

He found Itachi, Hidan, and Deidara in the dining area. Itachi was sitting quietly, an exasperated but adoring look on his face as the two alphas seemed to be playing arguing, or something along those lines. Sasuke merely spared them a glance as he entered. As long as they did not make a mess, he didn't need to say a word about them. He need not worry though, Itachi would keep them in line. 

“Sasuke,” Itachi greeted him with a smile. “Come and eat.”

There was what appeared to be a freshly made breakfast laid out, despite the late hour. The three mates already sitting were simply having some tea and what appeared to be chestnuts. 

He looked distrustfully at the food, and then at the two idiots sitting across from his brother. 

“I made it.” Itachi assured him. 

“Itachi is a great cook,” Deidara told him proudly. 

“Better than you.” Hidan said immediately. 

“You eat my cooking all the time!” 

Sasuke sighed, and Itachi smiled. Sasuke allowed himself to feel warmed by the sight, as he knew that there were many hard days to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to talk about a bit of itachis past while also trying to not completely take the attention away from sasuke. itachi has his own stroy that is also quite sad, even in this universe, and i do want to include it here and there in here, bc there are a lot of parallels between what happened to him and what happened to sasuke when they were growing up, so i hope no one minds itachi. then again, theres also plenty of stuff about itachis past sasuke is not 110% aware of, so ive been thinking of either making a chapter about itachis past, or writing itachi his own story perhaps after this one. 
> 
> also i dont want anyone mad at shisui or izumi really. they never hurt itachi and they didnt mean for him to be treated badly by anyone, i tried to get across that it was mostly harmless attraction/crushes they had on him when they were all quite young, and it was the adults that blew it out of proportion. 
> 
> please tell me how you felt about this chapter if you want!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, please be aware of the tags, i added a few of them just for this chapter, and certain topics in this chapter can be very triggering 
> 
> so this is a bit shorter than previous chapters, but i kinda wanted to keep this one separate from the scenes that came afterwards, bc it does dive a bit into sasukes past, and itachis as well

The birth and death of his nephew had been the real beginning of the end for Sasuke. 

It had been sudden. One day, Itachi was scheduled to give birth in just a few weeks, he was beaming and happy, and his lavender scent was as clean and sweet as it had ever been and then, Kakashi was telling Sasuke that something was wrong with the baby, that he was sick. That Itachi was sick too. 

Itachi had had him at home, since there was no point in having him at the hospital, or at least that's what Sakura had told him. His nephew had lived for about an hour, and had died in Itachi's arms. 

Itachi had held him for hours afterwards, not letting anyone intervene, and it was their father who eventually got him to let go and hand him over so he could be put to rest properly. 

Sasuke never got to ask what exactly had gone wrong. He had thought about it, but it was never the right time. It would only bring more pain to his family, and he supposed that it didn't matter if he knew or not. One way or another, his nephew was dead, knowing exactly how he did wouldn't bring him back. 

It had killed Itachi. 

Their father and Itachi's mates had made the arrangements for the burial, for the most part. Sasuke had heard the screaming fit Itachi had had when it was suggested his son be put in the clan cemetery, and it was quickly decided he would be buried in the gardens, where Itachi could visit and see him everyday when he was home. The Yamanaka’s had helped a bit with making the site, putting together plants and flowers that would survive the winter chill. From what he had seen, Itachi's mates had crafted the grave themselves, digging through layer after layer of snow and frozen earth using nothing but shovels and their own hands. 

Neji had come over a lot during that time. Actually, all of his mates had come and gone a lot in those days, but especially Neji, Hinata and Ino. It seemed like one of the three was always, always by his side, from the time he woke up to the time he went to bed at night. His father had been so busy he didn't even say anything when Neji spent the night two nights in a row. Of course, nothing had happened between them, but still. It wasn't exactly appropriate. 

His mates' parents had been around a lot too. Kakashi brought him food quite a few times, though Sasuke could tell he wasn't the one who had made it. He had even caught the Hokage himself in the garden, overlooking the site one day in the early morning, before the rest of the compound had stirred awake. 

It seemed everyone and no one was in the house the days between the birth, death, and then finally the funeral. No one lingered in the halls, or out on the engawa, members of the clan would shoot in and out quickly to deliver news to his father, and would not stay long. Everyone was quiet, no one made much noise, not even Lee, Naruto, or Kiba, the few times they had come over. 

The only one who didnt come and go was Itachi. He stayed locked in his room for days while the arrangements were made. Only their parents were allowed in, he had shut out even his mates and Sasuke. 

He hadn't seen much of his mother those few days. She was nearly always with Itachi. 

Sasuke saw his brother for the first time a week later at the burial. His hair was loose and wrapped around him like a silky shawl, covering much of his face as he stood between their parents, away from his mates and Sasuke. His eyes didn't leave the little gravestone. Not many words were said, they mostly stood in silence, laid down flowers, huddled close to together and felt each other's grief. Minato had read a lovely poem as a parting, the only one who seemed to be able to speak properly. 

The burial was quiet, small. Itachi, Sasuke, their parents, Itachi's mates. Naruto, Kushina, and Minato had come. Kakashi, Shisui, and Izumi. That was all. The rest of Sasuke's mates had wanted to come, but it was decided that any more people and it would be overwhelming, too formal and their parents would be expected to come too, and that would be too much for Itachi. Sasuke knew his brother didn't want to make a spectacle of this. 

Itachi had been the first one to walk away from the grave, and had made it about ten steps before he collapsed, being caught just before he hit the ground by Naruto. Sasuke had stood frozen, watching as snow swirled down on his brother's raven hair, how snowflakes got caught in his long, curled eyelashes as they laid on his cheeks. 

_Uchiha Fukuya._

Sasuke stood a long time looking at the name engraved in the stone, he was the last one to be left standing before it. He read the characters, knew their meaning, and felt it was horribly morbid just how ironic they were. 

Naruto had helped carry Itachi to his room, where his brother would stay in complete and utter silence for another week. Sasuke did not hear a single noise from his room, despite how close they were together. He only heard the slide of the door as one of his parents entered or left. 

He had not been home when it happened, having gone out with Neji, leaving the house for the first time in almost two weeks. When he came home, the whole house was in uproar, half of the engawa had been burned down, part of the roof smashed in, one of the rooms had caved in from what appeared to be an explosion, one of the gardens, thankfully not the one his nephew was laid to rest in, was flooded, and when he had asked, his mother had just told him Itachi asked his mates to leave. 

Sasuke knew his brother was not mentally well. He didn't leave his room, much less the house. Sasuke heard him cry for hours on most nights. Sometimes, he would cry for his child by name, other times the crying was so bad he didnt even need to. The rare times he would sleep, Sasuke often heard him whimpering out his mates names, sounding needy and lost. His brothers pain tore up Sasukes heart. 

He heard his mother have to talk him into eating every single day, three times a day. Sometimes he did, and more often than not, he refused. 

His father was stressed, and roamed the house that had been recently repaired like a caged beast. His mother was thinning and did not appear to ever sleep. Even when Itachi was left alone during the night hours, Sasuke had often seen her in the dining area, drinking cup after cup of caffeinated tea, unable to rest. 

No one loves their child more than an Uchiha does, was what Sasuke had been told a lot during that time. No one loves like an Uchiha does just in general was what he had been told all his life before that. 

Sasuke had felt so useless. He didn't want to be at home, but whenever he left, he felt guilty. He worried about what he would come home to. No one said it, but he feared one day he would come home to find Itachi dead, brought on him just as suddenly and mercilessly as his nephew's death. 

Nothing was helping him get any better. It had been two months, and eventually, Itachi had been sent off to the Land of Frost, to a village high in the mountains that was supposed to help him in ways the healers in Konoha could not. Their mother had gone with him. 

Sasuke had never felt more alone than he did when they left, but he had not known at that time that his loneliness was just beginning. 

/

Sasuke woke up with a jerk. He was overheated, and threw off his blankets to let the air of the early morning cool him down. 

He had not dreamed of his nephew for a long time. Dreams of him had tortured him for quite some time when he was younger, especially immediately after his death. He had often woken from gory nightmares, ones he wished to not remember, not even now, when he had seen things terrible in their own right on his travels. 

All he had ever seen of his nephew was a few tufts of black hair as his father had carried the wrapped up little bundle out of Itachi's birthing room. The sight alone had haunted his thoughts and dreams for quite some time. He had seen dead bodies before, he had had nightmares about seeing them before, but nothing had touched him as deeply as that sight had. 

Sasuke shook himself out of his thoughts. He had given himself the chills, and wrapped a blanket around himself as he sat at the edge of his bed. 

It was then he realized he had not visited him since he had come home, and felt guilty. Of all the things of the past he had looked back on with scorn, his nephew had never been one of them. Losing him had been traumatic, he had never properly met him, but he was Itachi's child, the child of the brother he had adored and held so highly all his life, his nephew. Sasuke had loved him. Sasuke had felt him alive and kicking underneath his hand and through Itachi's skin for months. 

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He tried to not think about it so much, so deeply. He got up to get ready for the day. 

He could tell it was colder that day before even leaving his room, and dressed in warmer clothes than the day before heading towards the dining area, because that was where he always seemed to find Itachi and his mates, who seemed to have bottomless stomachs. Or at least Deidara and Hidan did. 

When he entered, he saw Kisame, Hidan and Deidara fighting over the last piece of grilled fish, and looked to Kakuzu and Sasori, who were watching them with expressions both irritated and mildly entertained. Kakuzu being the former, and Sasori the latter. 

“He’s in the garden.” Sasori told him with a flick of his wrist. 

Sasuke nodded and turned, going back outside. 

Sasuke felt ambushed as soon as he took the turn that opened up to his nephew's garden. He felt like a fool, he had let his guard down, and wasn't paying attention to the chakra of those in the house. Itachi was there, kneeling in front of it with a gentle smile on his face, holding a pair of gardening scissors and neatly cutting away any and all weeds he could find, trimming the flowers that remained here and there. The person sitting by him watched with a smile, staying quiet. 

“Did I tell you your Uncle Sasuke is back?,” Itachi was saying. “Just as we thought, he's gotten really strong, I think he can even beat me now, one on one, if we really went at each other.” Itachi laughed, his eyes curving closed, his expression nothing but happy and peaceful. 

“Don't tell him that, Itachi.” Sasuke said from behind him. 

Both Itachi and the one sitting with him looked up. Sasuke tried not to look in Ino’s direction.

What was she doing here? He had thought his weeks of house arrest had meant he wouldn't be haggled by any of his mates. Hell, he had assumed none of them would even want to come and see him to begin with. 

Itachi smiled at him. “Why not? As your elder brother, I exist as an obstacle for you to overcome.”

Sasuke kicked at him, Itachi blocked it with a hand and a laugh. 

“Sasuke-kun,” Ino said breathlessly. There were tears in her eyes. 

“Why are you here?” Sasuke asked. Ino’s expression did not shift into one of hurt, she didn't even react to his prickly tone. The last time they had seen each other, Sasuke was pushing her out of his mind with such roughness her whole body had jumped when she returned to it and she had nearly fallen off a cliff. 

“Ino comes and tends to Fukuya when I can't be here.” Itachi told him. 

“You're here now.” Sasuke said pointedly. 

“Um. I have to go anyways, I have to open up the store this morning,” Ino said, quickly getting to her feet and wiping the dust off the back of her skirt. Sasuke noticed that she was wearing them shorter than she once had, and looked away. However, she still seemed to be favoring that same eggplant color. 

Sasuke was hit by a sudden memory. Of going walking into the barbeque place Chouji really liked and Ino running up to him as soon as he walked in. “Sasuke-kun, we match!” She had then thrown an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. He had been wearing a lavender turtleneck that was freshly embroidered with the Uchiha symbol on the back. Itachi was currently favoring a color the lady at their clothing stand called _ash violet_ , and like everything else, Sasuke seemed to follow his lead, even if it was subconsciously. He had just told his mother he didn't really like dark blue anymore. That he really liked purple all of a sudden. Ino had sat between him and Hinata and put her arms around them both, proudly telling a bored Shikamaru that they were the purple trio. 

“Thank you as always, Ino.” Itachi said as she left. 

Ino waved over her shoulder and quickly left. 

Once she was out of sight, Sasuke kneeled down before the grave of his nephew. 

“Did you tell her to come here?” Sasuke asked him, eyes running over the characters of his nephews name, once again feeling that hole in his stomach. 

“No.” Itachi said. “It's been nearly two days, all of them know you’re home by now.”

“So you let her come in?” Sasuke asked, voice tight. 

“They have been, and have continued to be, always welcomed here.” Itachi told him firmly. 

“Yes, except for when you actually want them around. Then they’ll make sure to never show their faces.” Sasuke spat out, and then wished he hadn't. Itachi's gaze snapped up to his face and he looked away, nudging closer towards the gravestone. 

“Sasuke…” Itachi's voice was soft, searching. Sasuke knew he was going to ask. It was only a matter of time. 

“That reminds me,” Sasuke said. “When did you and them get back together?” Sasuke remembered being caught off guard the first time he had seen Itachi with Sasori the first time his brother had tried to get him to come back. The last he knew, Itachi was refusing all communication with his mates and there seemed to be hurt feelings on all sides, if the state of their house had been any indication. 

Itachi flinched, and while Sasuke regret hurting him, he knew this topic was one of few that was likely to distract Itachi long enough they could move the 

“We never separated.” Itachi told him. “Things back then were complicated. We worked it out.”

Sasuke hummed in understanding. 

“Perhaps you should follow my example,” Itachi said softly. 

Sasuke glared at him and got up to his feet. “I don't want to talk about this.”

“Please don't raise your voice here, Sasuke.” Itachi said suddenly, getting up onto his knees. 

The tension suddenly left his body, and he casted a regrettable look towards the engraved stone. 

“Sorry, Fukuya.”

He turned his back on his brother and quickly went back into the house, heading towards his room without breakfast, feeling irritated, worn out, and tired, so, so tired. 

It mattered little that he had just woken up, he locked the door and went back to bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so depending on what characters are used, part of fukuya can mean "good fortune/good luck" so thats what sasuke meant when he thought it was morbidly ironic
> 
> Please share your thoughts about this chapter! I know it was kinda dark and sad.


	5. Chapter 5

“By the way,” Sasuke said at dinner that night. Both of his parents were still busy, the only ones being home besides himself being Itachi and Kisame. He had wandered back out of his room in the late afternoon, after sleeping most of the day away. Itachi had welcomed him with a gentle look, and it went without saying that they were not going to mention the spat from earlier.

“What happened to my face?” Sasuke asked, when Itachi hummed to show he was listening to him. 

Itachi swallowed his food and finally looked over. “Father went into your room last night and healed it.” 

The shock must have shown on his face, because Itachi smiled. “He was overcome with guilt, I think. I know he loves you just as much as mother and I.” 

“Yes, he shows it very well.” Sasuke muttered darkly, shoving a big bite into his mouth so he wouldn't have to say anything else. Sasuke tried to not think about how much like him he could sometimes. 

Itachi didn't look as if he was going to argue with that. “I do feel as if he was out of line.” Itachi said, and despite how little that was, it made Sasuke feel better. That was as much as Itachi would say out loud against their father, no matter how he might actually felt. Sasuke felt exhausted sometimes, trying to figure out his brother's deeper feelings. 

“So polite you are, Itachi-san.” Kisame said with a grin that gained his brother's attention.

“One of us has to be.” Itachi said with a bright smile. 

“Whoever said that? We would all love to see you act up every now and again” Kisame said, grinning further. Itachi's answering laugh was like windchimes. He reached over to smack Kisame's arm, his fingers lingering on the bulging muscles there too long for Sasuke's comfort. 

“I’m going to bed.” He announced and then evacuated the room as fast as he could without an answer from the pair that were now eyeing one another up. 

///

Hinata had scared him when they were young. 

All of his mates had liked to chase him when they were little, but Hinata had been ferocious in a way that Sasuke could barely handle. Instead of it being a fun game between them, it had often scared him. There were a few times his other mates had overwhelmed him and forced him to tears, but she always did it without fail. More often than not, he would take off running as soon as he saw her, because he knew she was going to come after him. It didn't matter if he stayed still or if he ran, she would try to bite him. 

She was so shy and quiet with everyone else, so timid most didn't think of her an alpha despite her smell, but as soon as she saw him that was all thrown out the window, and he got chased down like a bunny from the fox. 

Sasuke often found safety in the arms of Kushina, Kakashi and Shikaku during those times. Itachi was too small, and one time, when Itachi had picked him up to keep him safe, Hinata had knocked him over and given Itachi a concussion that lasted for weeks. Sasuke didn't understand at the time, all he knew was that Itachi had been really hurt and he didn't like that. It was around that same time Sasuke had begun to realize his brother was a little too gentle sometimes, especially with those that did not necessarily deserve it. 

It was the first time he had stomped his feet and gotten angry at any of his mates. For a while, it had deterred them from chasing him, but soon enough, when he still remained angry, they had only been more fierce. Sasuke realized at some point he needed someone who was taller than his brother, and had gone running to the adults. 

Kakashi was rather small too. Sasuke, at the time, didn't realize why Kakashi was smaller than the rest of his mates' parents. Sasuke had heard many people say he had had Lee far sooner than he should have. He knew he was young, but did not realize just how young. Not until he himself was thirteen and realized what mindset Kakashi must have been in when he first became pregnant. 

When his own mother wasn't available, Kakashi was his first choice. Unlike Itachi, Kakashi was not afraid to defend himself if little teeth decided to attack his ankles and little hands tried to shove him over. 

Kushina's wrath alone kept him safe from everyone who might have dared to try and get him otherwise. Once, Naruto had tried to playfully jump and swipe at him and Kushina had grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and installed proper fear back inside of him with a single look. 

His mates did not have the same fear of Shikaku, but the man was so sturdy that even when they pushed and bit at him he hardly even felt it and didn't move even an inch. Sasuke had often fallen asleep in his arms as he held him over the shark tank. 

The chasing had come to a swift end one day when he was about four, when Hinata had tackled him to the ground in the garden and bitten him, hard and deep. His shoulder had been gushing blood and he had screamed so loud nearly the whole compound had gone silent. 

His father had come out of the house with his eyes shining blood red, Hinata had been lifted and taken back to her father, and that had been the end of that. Itachi, who had been right at his father's heels, had patched him up and cuddled him two days straight until he had to leave for a mission. 

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s eyes blinked open. 

Itachi’s smiling face welcomed him back into the world. His mind did not wander when he meditated, he had kicked that years ago, back when he was still in the academy. It had been Neji who had gotten him started at a very young age, telling Sasuke it helped him with his anger, his insecurities, his worries, and that he thought it might help Sasuke with those things too. 

“What were you thinking about?” Itachi asked him as Sasuke stood up. 

“Nothing.” . 

“I see. Breakfast?” 

“Sure.”

///

The shadows of the rain played across the bedroom wall. The window was cracked open, allowing the cool air of the late night swindle inside and cool off flushed skin and ease off a migraine that had been pounding for hours. 

A soft buzz drew open obsidian eyes that had not been resting. Sasuke rolled on his back, leaning his head towards the open window. His mind was middled, feeling and thinking too much and not at all at the same time. The pain in his head was traveling further down to his ears and his jaw, making his whole skull feel like it was going to break into cracks. His eyes were so sore that it hurt to open them. 

A tiny figure bobbed across his room, wings glistening as they grew closer and closer. Sasuke planted his elbow on his bed, and raised his hand with a limp wrist, wincing as everything above the neck throbbed painfully. The figure whizzed around for a moment, before finally coming to a landing on the top of one of his fingers. 

Sasuke shifted his hand, eyes on the tiny bug. It was of a very familiar shape, eyes ones he couldn't forget. He had spent too many hours as a child pouring over notes and scrolls about them. He had been made to write endless journals and essays about them, which were constantly read, collected, and given back to him for revision. Red markings and circles of gradings that had made his eyes burn hot and his fingers stiffen with cramps. 

“Aki, eh?” 

Sitting in the tall grass with Shino back during their academy days came to mind. Sasuke laying flat on his stomach, head propped up by his hands, Shino excitedly telling him the names of hundreds and hundreds of tiny little bugs that all looked the same to him. Thinking that he would never be able to remember them, but listening anyways. 

The bug flew off his finger and swirled around his bed in circles a few times, before taking off and venturing around the rest of the room. Sasuke laid back down and watched with lidded eyes. Aki buzzed around for so long that his eyes became too heavy for him to watch anymore, and closed. He felt something against his cheek, but just moaned softly. When he cracked his eyes back open again a moment later, his room was empty of everything but the furniture and him. He eyed the open window for a moment, before decidedly rolling over and returning to a sleep that was no longer restless. 

///

“Uchiha Sasuke!”

The scream made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he barely had the time to look up before a heavy weight was slamming into his back and knocked him over. 

“Hey, hey, Sasuke!” Obito yelled way too close to his ear for comfort. Itachi’s laughter was playing like a backtrack, watching them with crossed arms and delighted dark eyes. Sasuke glared at him. 

“I thought I wasn't allowed visitors.” That was not exactly true, he knew. Shisui had said that he would come and see him, with Izumi, and Ino had also been allowed in. However, he got the sense that people were not supposed to be coming and going out of his prison at the moment. 

Sasuke groaned for mercy. Obito was not feeling merciful. 

“I got special clearance from Minato-sensei!” Obito announced, tightening his arms around Sasuke even further. 

“Obito, you’re going to suffocate him,” His mother told her cousin with a tickling laugh that sounded much like Itachis. 

“Let him up, Obito.” Another voice called. It took him a moment to recognize it. When he did, he looked around Obitos figure to see Rin standing with his mother, watching them with a tense expression. 

“Let me torture the little bastard for another moment,” Obito answered cheerfully. He tugged Sasuke backwards and into his lap, like Sasuke was a child again. He had vivid memories of Obito stealing him from his parents when he was young, complaining that Itachi had never let him hold him when he was little. 

Obito shoved their faces together and Sasuke wondered what would happen to him if he made his cousin take some flames at this distance. He might get burned too, but it would be worth it, he reasoned. 

“He’s had enough,” Itachi said, right when Sasuke was beginning to _seriously_ consider actually doing it. Obito heed his warning and finally allowed Sasuke to free himself. Sasuke got up to his feet and then jumped over to stand with Itachi, using his brother as a shield between himself and their ridiculous cousin. 

“Aw, I just missed you a ton, Sasuke.” Obito smiled at him. Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

“Sure.”

“I did!” Obito turned to his mate. “Right, Rin?”

“Mmm.” Rin gave Sasuke a hesitant smile. “We all did.” 

Sure. He had the mind to not say that one aloud though. Sasuke just hummed and glanced at Itachi. Itachi pointedly did not look back at him. 

His mother began to wave everyone into the dining room for a light lunch, as she put it, and they all turned to follow. Sasuke could not resist his mother, so he followed them all without further complaining. As they went, he fell into step with Itachi and looked at him insistently. 

“It's good for you, Sasuke.” Itachi said with a gentle smile.

“To be strangled to death by Obito?” Sasuke shot back.

“To see the people who love you.” Itachi linked their arms and pulled him along. 

Itachi’s words only angered him. The people who loved him. Where had the people who supposedly loved him so much been when he had actually needed them? He knew how to protect himself against anyone and anything now, he didn't need them anymore.

///

“Sasuke,” Itachi said, one morning of the second week of his house arrest. He had woken up early. Every night, his head pounded mercilessly. His hours of sleep were restless and filled with quiet nightmares that left him trembling when he woke. 

“What?” He asked, raising his hand up to rub at his eyes. He had lost any sense of decency, as his father would say, and had come to eat in his pajamas without getting dressed. His mother had just let out her tinkling laugh at his bedhead. 

“Could you help me clean out the sparring room after breakfast?” 

Sasuke looked up from his rolled eggs. “What?” Was his brother finally going to submit him to hours of chores? Was this the way he was supposed to pay back the clan for his abandonment?

“The sparring room,” Itachi said, eyes on his soup as he thought about bringing the bowl up to his lips. “Father had it redone a few years ago. It needs some tidying up. Since my husbands are all busy today, could you help me with it?” Sasuke honestly couldn't imagine what all his husbands could be getting up to in the village. Training and wandering was all they seemed to do. After all these years, most of them still felt awkward in the village. One day, they would live there permanently, serving as some of Itachi's advisors to the clan and ambassadors of their villages to Konoha, instead of constantly coming and going. Perhaps then they would not feel so out of place. 

Sasuke looked over at his mother, but she had his back to him, and was humming softly under her breath as she cleaned up the kitchen. 

He didn't have anything else to do, he realized. 

“Alright.”  
  


Itachi smiled down at his food. “Thank you, Sasuke.” 

///

Sasuke really thought about whining to his brother. The sparring room was, as it had always been, completely spotless, fully stocked with everything necessary, with not a single fleck of dust willing to mar the room Fugaku had renovated and extended himself when he took over the clan, made for the personal growth of his offspring. 

What was for them to do?

Itachi had told him he would meet him there, and when he heard his brother behind him, he turned to complain, only to stop when he saw what Itachi was wearing. 

“Are you ready?” Itachi asked him as he stepped up, wearing his pale gray training clothes. He only ever dressed in this fashion when he was going to be sparring at home. 

“For what?” Sasuke asked. 

Itachi just sighed, and Sasuke felt irritation rise up in him, that old sense of competitiveness coming back. Itachi nudged him into the room, and then slid the doors tightly closed behind him. 

He threw a pile of light gray clothes at Sasuke. 

“Change.”

Sasuke looked at the clothes in his hands. He had not worn these garments in years. The last time had been before Itachi had gotten pregnant. 

“What are we doing, Itachi?” Sasuke asked as his brother began to set up the room appropriately. 

“You’re helping me train.” Itachi said, back to him. 

“I’m not allowed to fight.” Sasuke reminded him. Itachi would not have forgotten something like that. 

“You’re not fighting. You’re having a practice spar with your big brother.” 

“I don't think that matters.” Sasuke said. “If they find out that-”

“Then we better keep it a secret, mm?” Itachi said, his smile stopping Sasuke in his tracks. 

//

Sasuke laid in a panting mess on the floor of the training room. Itachi was out of breath as well, but he was still on his feet. It had been awhile since he had gone hand to hand with his elder brother. Taijutsu was not Itachi's speciality, or so his elder brother had never claimed it as being one of his, but he still put Sasuke on his back more times than Sasuke had been able to land a solid hit on him. 

To be fair, they had not used anything else in their fight. To make it fair, Itachi had not activated his sharingan, because Sasuke wasn't allowed to. Same as he was not allowed to use any jutsu. He was sure they had certain ways of telling if he dared to try and do any of those things. Perhaps that had been what was making his chakra feel so irregular and out of balance these last few weeks. He had searched his body, but had not found any seals. However, he knew that there were other ways they could keep track. 

“You're out of practice.” Itachi said. 

“Yes, well, I’ve been doing nothing but sitting on my ass and eating for the last two weeks,” Sasuke snapped back. 

“I never said it was your fault.” Itachi sat down next to him. “I believe this is part of their plan.” 

That got Sasuke's attention, and he sat up. “Whose plan?”

“The elders.” Itachi said, eyes dark. Despite Itachi's kindness, and his love of his village, he had always held a quiet disdain for the people. “They feel threatened by you. They would like it if you were weakened.” 

“I never did anything to them personally.” Sasuke said. 

“Anything against the village they take as a personal attack.” Itachi said. “It is unwise of them, but they are overly suspicious.” Itachi's eyes fell. “Danzo was the worst of them. Let us just be thankful he’s not with us anymore.” 

Sasuke wondered about that. Itachi had always been respectful to everyone in high command, but Sasuke could always tell that Itachi had not liked that man. Itachi was hard for anyone to read, but it was so obvious that anyone could have seen it. The man had died suddenly a few years before Sasuke had left the village, and everyone had been very suspicious, especially because the Hokage had not made a big deal out of it. 

“What do you want to do then, Itachi?” Sasuke asked him softly. 

Itachi smiled up at him suddenly. 

“Nothing. I just want to make sure you do not fall out of practice. You’ve always been amazing at taijutsu.” Training with Lee and Neji as a child had helped him with that. He had only gotten better since he had left the village. Just like everything else, he had greatly improved. 

“Besides,” Itachi's smile grew. “I am aware of how bored you are, Sasuke. You are not someone who can be left to do nothing.” Itachi's gaze turned meaningful. “Mother is also aware.”

Sasuke understood. 

Itachi nodded and rose back up to his feet.

“Mother will return home soon. Let's clean up here, and then we can both wash up. Quickly.”

Sasuke followed after Itachi, even more on his mind than before. 

///

That night, he fell asleep to the sound of quiet buzzing. Just like every night before, despite the chill, he left his window open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know everyone is impatient for a reunion between sasuke and his mates, but i dont think sasuke feels ready for a face to face yet, at least in this chapter he wasnt. 
> 
> i hope the little reunion in this one was interesting enough tho. i tried to shed even more light on sasukes past and on his feelings, as well as show his relationship with the members of his family and build on some of the other hidden conflicts. 
> 
> pls tell me your thoughts on this chapter~ it is very much welcomed and appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a few sexually explicit scenes. 
> 
> this is a bit longer than previous chapters, and theres just a lot going on so im sorry if it got confusing

Sasuke woke up to a wet tongue against his cheek. The bruises on that side of his face were healing nicely, with just a bit of dying yellow and green blossoming here and there, but the insistent licking still made his face throb a bit. 

Without opening his eyes any further, he wrapped an arm around Shiro and pulled him close. He smiled slightly at the little happy yip that was pronounced right by his ear, and cuddled into the silky soft fur. 

They laid there for about ten minutes before nature called and he was forced to crawl out from the comfort of his beautifully warm bed. Shiro yawned and flopped onto his side on the mattress, leaving Sasuke to get ready for his day in peace. 

Once he was properly dressed, he gathered Shiro up and went to the dining room. It was still early in the morning, but by this time his father would be gone, his mother would be about to head out to something or other, as she always tried to get things done early, and Itachi and maybe one or two of his husbands would be waiting for Sasuke to have breakfast with them. Then, said husbands would make themselves scarce, and he and Itachi would train until their mother came home. Then, usually, they would go and visit Fukuya. Itachi went in the morning, the afternoon, and at night. Sasuke tried to go with him at least once a day. 

It was a routine Sasuke had been getting used to. He had allowed himself to fall into the comfort of a routine, something he hadn't had in a very long time. The smell of miso and eggs welcomed him at the door as he slid it open and walked in, a greeting on his lip. 

Sasuke nearly face planted. There at the table, was his father. It was the first time he had seen him since the day he had returned home. His mother was shuffling around the kitchen, Itachi sat straight back and serene across from their father. It seemed that his husbands had vacated the premises. Whether or not it was done by Itachi's encouragement was untold. 

“Sit.” 

Sasuke went and sat next to Itachi, who turned his head slightly towards before facing back forward. 

His father looked at him a moment. He was not thinking of what he would say, he was eyeing Sasuke's condition. He could tell. He had faced that judgemental, assessing gaze far too much in his life. 

“You’ll begin your lessons this afternoon.” He was unquestionable. 

Insecurity, fear, and anxiety swelled up inside Sasuke’s chest. He shoved it all down. 

“Why now?” Sasuke questioned him anyway. It was the beginning of the third week. He had been left to do nothing for the last two weeks, it seemed odd to him that they had given him such a large breathing period.

“Don't question them for now.” Fugaku said with another wave of finality. 

Irritation began to blossom and then quickly died when Itachi gave his knee a squeeze underneath the table. 

“Fine.” 

Fugaku rose from his seat without another word. Sasuke watched as he spent a moment in the kitchen, sharing a few quiet words with Mikoto before heading towards the door. 

As soon as it closed behind him, he turned to Itachi. 

“Today, The Aburame will be coming at one thirty, and the Nara at three thirty. You’ll be taking tests for the next four days, they’ll be evaluating how much you remember and determining how many lessons you need and what criteria you need to recover.” 

Sasuke nodded. He didn't need anything to be explained further. Some would find it extremely odd, but it had just been another part of Sasuke's childhood. 

He had made himself sick with anxiety when he was young, always pouring over whatever subject he was meant to be mastering. Always studying for tests, doing flashcards with Itachi and his mother, making his mates quiz him as they trained. 

“Once the tests are completed and their evaluations are complete, you’ll be allowed around the compound and begin your civil services.” Itachi continued as their mother brought over their breakfast. 

“No need to be worried, Sasuke.” His mother offered him her peaceful smile. 

Sasuke returned one, though his was smaller, less easily breathtaking. “I’m not.” 

Her smile widened. Itachi’s lips curled up at the ends too. Sasuke couldn't help but think how much they looked alike. The feeling their smiles gave was the same in his heart. 

“Good.” 

///

The Aburame that came was one he had only met once or twice before. He had not been one of Sasuke's tutors, but worked closely with Shino’s father. An advisor, if he was remembering correctly. He was sure he was. Memorizing everyone in the clans was just another one of his responsibilities. It wouldn't look right for the mate of the next clan leader to not know the people of the clan. 

He was a picturesque Aburame. So many people were unnerved by their appearance. The hidden eyes and figures bulky from layers of clothing could be intimidating, but he had never thought so. The man who came was a beta, and did not smell particularly aggressive or angry towards him. The scents of the rest of the clan lingered on him. In particular, the scent of Shino’s parents, Shino’s adopted brother, and Shino himself lingered on him. He likely went to report at the main house before coming over. 

The ten page test that had been pushed in front of him would have been intimidating to anyone. Anyone that wasn't Sasuke, that was. The moment he was allowed, he went right to work. There was never a point where he got caught up or confused. Though he had an hour and a half to complete it, he finished in under an hour. He could have been faster, but he wanted to have his fun with it. 

_List the 64 ways the kikaichu can be identified. What is their lifespan? In what year did the Aburame begin the husbandry of the kikaichu?_

Sasuke was almost offended by how elementary it all was. 

The Nara test was no different. From a clan that had so many geniuses in their midst, Sasuke had nearly just as easy of a time during their written test as he did with the first one. 

_Explain how the Shadow Neck Bind technique is performed. Who first created this technique? What year were the Nara officially classified as a clan by the Daimyo?_

Unlike the Aburame representative, the Nara that came was much more familiar. They did not hide their dislike for him either. She was an omega just a few years older than him, who had always liked Shikamaru a little too much for his liking. Whether her feelings were only platonic or not, Sasuke was never sure, but that didn't mean he favored the extra attention she had always given the clan heir. In short, her presence had always irritated Sasuke to no end. She had always been civil to Sasuke in the past, but as she watched him take his test, she reeked of dislike. Dislike and Shikamaru. Had she rubbed herself all over him before coming here? 

Sasuke didn't let her bother him. He focused on his test and tried to not breathe through his nose. Every time he forgot, her peachy scent mixed with something it shouldn't and it made his skin prickle. He had to resist a cocky smirk when she irritably snatched the paper away from him at the end, upset by how quickly he had finished their test. She was the sort who always rode on the coattails of her clan heads intellect. She likely took it as a slight to finish in under a half hour. Sasuke had not let himself linger while taking the test as he had with the Aburame’s. 

The fourth and last day of the tests was certaintly going to be the most trying, being the day both the Hatake and Hyuuga would visit. However, the next day was going to be a headache in its own right. 

There could only be one person to give him a test on the Uzumaki. 

///

“You have an hour.” 

Kushina got up from the table and went to the corner of the room. Sasuke didn't protest the lowered time limit. If she at all thought it would affect his results, it wouldn't. He knew more about the Uzumaki than Naruto did. 

It was the first test that caught him up. He spent more time than he wanted to on a question on the fifth page. Just for a moment, he considered skipping over it, or coming back to it, but this was his pride on the line. They wanted him to fail. They wanted to get to teach him. Sasuke didn't want to ever be forced down onto his knees and play the role of their student again.

A conversation he had with Naruto long ago came back to him, and he was able to answer it. The rest of the test was just as easy. 

Kushina smelled of Naruto, because of course she did. She also smelled of Tenten and Sakura. Tenten didn't have a family. She had spent most of her life going back and forth between their houses as a child, before Gai had finally insisted she stay at the Hatake home permanently when she started at the Academy so she could have a more reliable home life. It was not unusual for her to spend a lot of time at the other homes of their mates though. Sakura...Naruto had always chased after her. They had been a team once, the three of them. The three of them had spent so much time together back in the old days, even more so than with the rest of their mates. In his absence, they had probably grown even closer, taking up the room he had left. 

When he was finished, she took it from him and left without another word. He caught her lingering outside the house, talking with his mother. For the first time, the two of them were not smiling together. Kushina was frowning, his mother looked angry. Guilt ate away at his heart. 

There was just one more day. One more day of tests and he wouldn't have to smell them for a while. He could hide away in the compound for a bit longer. All he had to do was do well on the tests, and he would be left alone for a while. 

Not for the first time, he laid in his room and wondered if everything would have been better if he had let himself wither and fall all those times death had bitten at his ankles, instead of continuing to struggle towards the top. 

////

“Sasuke-kun, I can't think properly as to how to punish you.”

Sasuke let out a heavy breath, squirming in the lap that he was seated in. Strong hands grabbed him by the hips, their grip unrelenting, and kept him from moving around. 

“Is that any way to act when one of your alphas is talking to you?” A deep voice murmured in his ear, impatient and unimpressed. Sasuke went stone still, willing away his shaking as hands lowered and shoved his thighs further apart. One hand crawled forward to slide between his soaking lips, a single finger heading downwards to dip into his core. Sasuke arched against the body against his, only for an arm to wrap around his waist and hold him to a strong chest. 

“Behave.” The lips against his ear warned him. The hand playing with his wet cunt ran upawards to wrap around his cocklette, holding it in the warmth of a large hand and doing little else. Sasuke moaned miserably. He received a nip to the neck for his troubles and he went limp. 

“Pay attention when you’re being spoken to,” Shikamaru warned him, his grips tightening. Sasuke whimpered and went even more slack and submissive in his arms. 

Sasuke did his best to open his eyes and pay attention to Lee, who had been standing in front of him. The alpha had grown even more muscular since the last time they had seen one another. Sasuke eagerly eyed up his naked body, lingering hungrily on every abanadge that was on display. His mouth watered at the sight of the naked cock bobbing teasingly so close to his body. So close, and yet so far. 

Another small river of slick leaked out of his willing body, both from his swollen lips and his puckered entrance. Lee followed the sight of him making a mess of Shikamaru's clothed lap, while Shikamaru once again trailed his hand lower down, shoving two fingers inside of him as far as they would go. 

Sasuke sobbed and arched into the touch. He wanted, all he could do was want. He wanted them inside of him, in every hole he had. Male omegas were meant for multiple mates, that was their whole function, the whole purpose of them having two entrances below that self lubricated themselves. Or at least that was what his Hyuuga health instructor had always told him. After all his traveling, he knew much more about what he was and what he could be. Still, he did find it very convenient that he could take multiple partners at once if he so wanted. 

“How are you going to make it up to Lee, Sasuke?” Shikamaru murmured against his throat. His fingers slid out of Sasuke soaking and sticky. Sasuke jumped when he felt the alpha hold his folds apart, putting his entrance on full display to Lee’s eyes. “You have any idea how many times we all thought about this?”

Sasuke whimpered, and looked up from behind his wet eyelashes to meet Lee’s gaze, so steady and strong, it had always given him goosebumps. 

“Did you think about us too, Sasuke-kun?” Lee asked as he took a few steps forward. 

Sasuke whined and turned away from them both. Shikamaru's slick covered fingers caught his face and turned him back to face Lee, nosing at his throat as he went. Lee was suddenly kneeling between his legs, holding his thighs apart with those unfairly strong hands. 

Sasuke felt him breathe against his cunt as he lowered himself down, not waiting for an answer. Sasuke huffed out a breath and secured his legs over Lee’s shoulders without protest from either of the alphas. 

He could feel Shikamaru straining, hard and leaking underneath him. His suddenly bare cock tucked between his cheeks, teasing his puckered entrance as Lee ate him out, his fingers gently rolling his clit between them, making him sob wantonly and wither between them. 

The next thing he knew, he was on the bed between two of his alphas, the warnings of punishment long forgotten, Shikamaru buried deep inside of his ass and Lee thrusting fervently into his cunt. Their hands were all over, touching him everywhere they wanted him to, Shikamaru marking up the back of his neck and his shoulders, Lee murmuring against his forehead and whispering both praises and declarations of love. 

“I thought about you e-everytime,” Sasuke finally choked out. 

/

Sasuke rolled onto his back as soon as he woke. His body was trembling and hot, and he didn't hesitate in kicking off the blankets and pulling up his long sleeping shirt. He yanked his panties down to his knees and then planted his feet on the bed, thighs spread far apart. 

He carefully prodded between his folds, letting out a soft sigh at his practiced touches. Sasuke was well versed in getting himself off quickly and cleanly, it helped with frustration, times of sleeplessness, and times like now, when erotic urges and thoughts would leave him until he got himself off. He could make himself last when he wanted, but times like this, when he felt guilty about his most secret innermost thoughts, he tended to touch himself in a way that would get it all over with quickly, in the hopes those thoughts would go away. 

His dream lingered in his mind as he slid a finger up into the second knuckle, already sopping from what had been a long and intricate dream. He didn't waste much time, adding in fingers as soon as he knew they would fit, bringing himself to the edge as efficiently as possible. 

All he needed to do was cum, and then he wouldn't think about it. He told himself over and over again, even as he still felt the heat of their bodies, remembered how vividly he had been able to smell both of them. Even if it hadn't been with them, his treacherous brain also brought up the two times he had slept with a mate of his before he had left the village. Thoughts of his dreams and memories of things that had long passed eventually brought him closer and closer to the edge. 

“Shika-” He slapped a hand over his mouth as his body arched and convulsed underneath the moonlight. Their names played in his mind like a mantra, he wanted to scream them, he wanted them in his bed, he wanted them to fuck him for real. He wanted the rest who had not yet known his body to learn and touch it, to take him as they wanted.

Those thoughts and urges died down with his high, and he was thankful.

//

“Shino?”

Of all the times to be getting noticed. 

Shino did not focus on the voices calling out to him until he felt his glasses being yanked off his face. He scrambled them out of Sakura’s grasp, and quickly tucked them back on. He hated when she did that. 

“How many times do I have to say not to-”

“What did Aki see?” Sakura demanded. By then, they had already gained everyone else's attention. 

It was somewhat depressing, if he thought about it too much. Every night since his mates had discovered what he was doing, they would gather around in his room and wait for Aki to come back and tell him what they had seen. Most of the time, it was very repetitive. Sasuke was sleeping, Sasuke was reading, Sasuke was cleaning some old kunai, Sasuke was pacing, Sasuke was rearranging his room for the fifth time. Still, they all gathered around and waited to hear like they had nothing better to do. Even those that had once suggested that Sasuke might be lost to them came. 

“N-nothing of importance.” He suddenly felt unnerved by all the eyes on him. His mates had always given him more attention than the general public, but even their attention often wandered away if he wasn't working to keep it. Kiba had always been marginally better at the rest, he always had to do very little to have Kiba look at him when he turned up. The only person to explicitly go and look for him, though, had always been-

“Sasuke is important!” Naruto protested loudly. No one directly argued with him. It was a lost cause. Shikamaru scoffed anyway, and they all ignored him. 

“It’s nothing out of the usual.” Shino added on a serious nod to be convincing. 

“Your nose is bleeding!” Kiba accused. The warm liquid was indeed running down his face. He thought his jacket had been covering it. 

“It’s not.” Shino deadpanned, adjusting the high collar of his jacket. Out of sight, out of mind. 

Kiba leapt forward and ripped it down. “It is!” Perhaps not. 

“Not.” 

“You want to keep Sasuke doing something sexy all to yourself.” Kiba accused him, grabbing his jacket and looking like he was going to throttle him. 

“Don't be a horndog, Kiba.” Shino advised wisefully. Denying would make it true. A few snickers came from the corner of the room from his choice of words. 

“Me? You're the pervert with the bleeding nose!” Kiba began to shake him. 

“My intentions are only pure.” 

“Liar!” 

///

“Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru’s brow twitched when Naruto saddled up against his side. 

“What do you think Sasuke was doing?” Naruto asked, playing with the folds of Shikamaru’s shirt sleeves. Shikamaru sighed. It was three in the morning, and every night for what must have at least been the last week, they spent their nights in this tiny ass room, waiting for news about Sasuke like baby birds waiting in the nest for their mother to return. 

It was tiring. Couldn't Shino stalk their mate during the day? Shiakmaru had thought a lot about it, and if Shino was just careful, there wouldn't be too many issues. Sasuke knew they were watching him anyways. Or at least he knew Shino was. 

“Go read one of Jiraiya's books if you want shitty porn.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes. 

Naruto quieted for a moment. He cast a hesitant glance around the room, which was weird enough. He moved even closer to Shikamaru, keeping his voice down as if he was embarrassed by what he was going to say. 

“You really never think about it sometimes?” Naruto whispered a little too loudly for how close he was to his ear. Shikamaru pushed him back a bit. 

“No. I don't think about someone who almost killed all of us when I’m pulling one.” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s not like any of us ever got him naked.” Shikamaru sighed. “Maybe if we had he wouldn't have lost his shit.” 

Naruto laughed a little too loudly. 

Shikmaru’s eyes narrowed. 

Before he could think too much about it, there was a scream and the next thing he knew Kiba was being thrown across the room and right through the wall.

“SHINO!” 

////

The dreaded fourth day came early. Barking and hissing woke him before the sun. He tore the door to the engawa open to find Shiro and Itachis cat howling and yowling up a storm out in Fukuya’s garden. He stumbled sleepily down the steps, worried they were fighting. It had never happened before, the two seemed to get along as well as he and Itachi, but he knew animals could be spontaneous. Perhaps their relationship had changed since he had been gone. 

They weren't. Instead it seemed that both of them had been frightened by something. Frightened or angry, he couldn't tell. 

“Shiro,” He called sleepily. The little dog’s howling turned into a whimper and he quickly ran over to jump up at his knees. “What are you making all that noise for?” 

Itachi's cat was still yowling at the garden wall, all her hair sticking up on her back. Sasuke squatted down and attempted to call her over, but she ignored him. She backed away from the wall, her yowling only growing louder as Shiro whimpered and whined against him. 

His eyes sharpened as he followed where she was looking. Perhaps she really had seen something. Just as he was about to investigate, Itachi joined them, wearing a blue rode several sizes too big that swallowed him up and his loose hair disheveled in a way that still made him look unfairly pretty. Sasuke just looked like roadkill when he first woke. He didn't know how Itachi remained breathtaking no matter the occasion. 

“What's wrong, Tora?” Itachi yawned. The cat straightened out all at once and went running to Itachi, meowing loudly as she circled in and out around his ankles. 

“I think something scared them.” 

“Probably another animal.” Still, Itachi picked up Tora who came up easily and he wandered over to the wall, his sharingan swirling to life. 

“Anything?” Sasuke asked as he stood, Shiro tucked under his arm. 

“Whatever it was, it’s gone now.” Itachi scratched Tora behind the ears. The cat had her claws embedded in his robe, but otherwise seemed relaxed in his arms. “I’ll look into it later. You should get some more sleep, Sasuke.” 

Sasuke hummed and told Itachi the same, which only made his brother laugh. Itachi was usually the sort that could never go back to sleep once he was woken up. It was only about four in the morning, and they had turned in late the night before. 

“Perhaps Kisame will help me feel sleepy,” Itachi smirked as he carried Tora away. 

“It's too early to feel nauseous.” Sasuke grumbled as he slammed his door shut. Itachi's laughter lingered as he went back to his own quarters. 

Sasuke was so tired that the moment he and Shiro touched his bed, he was out. He did not think about what could have made Shiro and Tora react so strongly, two animals that had not done more than bark and hide when Itachi and his mates who had brought half their house down, like he perhaps should have. 

///

“Do you want me to stay?” Itachi asked later in the day. 

Sasuke was sitting in the room where the tests had been taking place the last few days. Kakashi was supposed to arrive two hours ago, so he should have been showing up any minute. Thankfully, everyone had planned ahead and the Hyuuga representative would only be coming later in the day. That would leave him enough time for whatever test Kakashi had put together.

If there was any test he felt cautious of, it was this one. Whatever Kakashi had put together, it would not be normal. Nor would it be anything he could properly prepare for. 

“No.” Sasuke insisted. “It's best I face him alone.”

“I don't want him to take advantage of this.” 

Sasuke looked at his brother. His face was a mask, but Sasuke could see the worry and anxiety growing in the depths of his eyes. 

“You know Kakashi.” 

“Yes. That is why I feel a bit anxious.” Sasuke was somewhat surprised Itachi had admitted it. 

“Hello, everyone!” 

The door slammed open and both of them glanced over. 

“Kakashi-san.” 

“Kakashi.” 

“Maa, is that the way you greet your mother in law, Sasuke-kun?” Kakashi asked brightly. 

“I’m not married yet.” 

“Aha, right. I had almost forgotten. Maybe you never will be. Married, I mean.”

Itachi straightened up. “Kakashi,” His voice held a quiet warning that they could all catch. “I hope you aren't planning on sabotaging anything.”

Kakashi waved him off like he had just suggested Kakashi was trying to get out of cleaning duty. “Nonsense. I would never do something like that.” Kakashi’s eyes quickly turned from smiling and bright to dark and daunting. “I’m just here as a clan representative, after all. The Hatake don't have minions to do our work.” 

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a moment to collect himself while Kakashi made himself at home. He could hear the other omega taking a heavy seat on the other side of the table. 

“Shouldn't you be leaving, Itachi-kun?” Kakashi asked happily. 

Itachi didn't answer him. Sasuke felt a squeeze to his hand and then the door opened and then closed. Sasuke knew he would not go far. 

When he finally opened his eyes and looked up, Kakashi was already watching him. Despite the fact they all had black irises, Sasuke had always thought the color of Lee’s eyes were more similar to Kakashi's then Gai’s. He wondered what Kakashi would do if he brought up his son first. There were many things he could talk about, all things he could imagine would infuriate Kakashi. He decided to keep them to himself. 

“There's no test.” Sasuke observed, unsurprised. 

“No. Not a written one.” Kakashi leaned forward on his elbows. 

Sasuke sighed and made himself comfortable. 

“I already know you remember everything I’ve taught you.” Kakashi said. “Testing you on that would be a waste of my time.” 

Sasuke wondered how Kakashi could be someone who both expected a lot from him yet still seemed to constantly underestimate him and his abilities. 

“Your face looks better.” 

“Thanks.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. The worst of the bruises were now a few flickers of brown and yellow around the corner of his eyes and the very edges of his jaw where it met his neck. 

“You hate me for it, don't you?” Kakashi wondered. He didn't sound like he was trying to guilt Sasuke. Rather, he seemed honestly curious, head tilted to the side and all. 

“For hitting me?” Sasuke asked. Kakashi nodded. 

Sasuke found himself shrugging. He didn't think hate was the right word for what he felt. 

“You don't understand a mother's love.” 

Sasuke didn't say anything to that. He knew the lengths a mother could go for their child. He had seen it in his mother, who was at odds with her best friend just for him. In Itachi, letting go of his perfect masked exterior to show his devastation and heartbreak.

He knew what Kakashi really meant. He had done it out of anger, he was furious at Sasuke for what he had done. 

“Do you hate me because of what I did to Lee specifically? Or, perhaps, what you feel I did to all of them?” Sasuke asked. “Am I the only one you don't see as your child anymore?”

Kakashi's eyes widened, and then narrowed into slits. 

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Kakashi wondered, sounding bored. 

Again, Sasuke didn't say anything in return. He wanted to argue, he wanted to scream at him. He wanted to ask Kakashi the question that had been on the edge of his mind for all of the years that had passed since he had left the village, the question he wanted to ask all of them. 

“I can't forgive you for everything that you’ve done. You won't even tell us why.” Kakashi continued. 

“There's no point in asking me, is there? It's all going to be forced out of me eventually.” Not if Sasuke could help it. 

“If you told us, we wouldn't have to put you through that.” Kakashi tried to reason. 

“No one would believe me anyways. Even if you did, the council would still demand the ceremony to take place, so they could make sure. Why would I do that to myself?” 

“It's not as if you’re innocent, Sasuke.” Kakashi suddenly snapped. “There's nothing to make us trust or believe you. Of course there would be doubt.” 

“Nothing to make you trust me?” Sasuke repeated. Kakashi looked ready to argue with him if it came down to it, but Sasuke didn't let himself rise to his anger. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. 

Nothing to make them trust him. He had only given them most of his life. 

“Are we done?” Sasuke asked instead of pressing any further. 

Sasuke half expected to be yelled at. Kakashi's face had turned a bit less harsh. His eyes were searching, he looked as if he was waiting for something to happen, for Sasuke to say something. Sasuke didn't know what he wanted, but he wasn't going to give it to him. 

Sasuke didn't think he found it, because he abruptly stood, and headed towards the door. 

“Not that it means anything now, but there was a time I loved you just as much as I love my own son.” 

By the time Sasuke turned, he was already gone. 

///

Bile burned the back of Sasuke's throat. 

“Hello, Sasuke.” 

A scarred face that only held a single purple eye smiled at him from across the table. The heat of Itachi's body was close by, but he suddenly felt like he had been dunked into the icy waters of the Mist, without any land around for miles and miles. Crisp, black water that held no end in sight. Nothing but him, the slow kill of the waves, and the terrifying depths below. 

“I’m afraid we’ve never met before.” Itachi said from behind him. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to look back at him. 

The Hyuuga at the table smiled so widely his eye creased closed, his teeth all shining white and perfectly straight. Sasuke had once knocked the whole bottom row of them out, but they had returned to their former glory. 

“I became Sasuke-chans tutor sometime after you left. I am Hyuuga Takeru.” He had a neat little stack of paper and a basket of writing utensils seated before him on the tabe. Where everyone else had either brought a single pen for him to use, or just expected him to use him, Takeru had brought along extra copies of the test, and the kind of pens Sasuke had always preferred. 

“Uchiha Itachi,” Itachi said, and received a nod and smile for his troubles. “And I’m assuming that…”

Takeru hummed with a happy smile. “Yes. Sasuke-chan and I had a fight before he left the village. It was quite a shock, I’ll admit. Sasuke-chan was always such a sweet, well behaved child.” His eye looked darker than the rest of the Hyuuga, or maybe it was because all the light coming into the room was golden from the setting sun. 

Itachi hummed. 

“Yes?” Takeru asked with a soft smile.

“I’m just surprised you wanted to be the one to come today.” Itachi said. Sasuke’s legs felt like jelly underneath the many folds of the kimono he was wearing. 

“Sasuke-chan was always my favorite student.” The alpha smile turned even more warm, if that was possible. “He was under so much stress at the time, it's understandable why he could have snapped. With his mother gone and everything.” His eye gleamed like a raw amethysts. 

Itachi stiffened. 

“I see.” 

Sasuke wished he could apologize to his brother. 

“Do you mind if I stay for the test?” Itachi asked. “Sasuke has felt a bit sick today.”

Takeru beamed pleasantly at him. “Of course. Sasuke-chan always loved his big brother so much. He talked about you all the time after you left. I’m sure your presence will serve to soothe him.” His head tilted. “My condolences, by the way.” 

“Thank you.” Itachi moved to Sasukes side. “Why don't you sit, Sasuke?”

Sasuke took his seat. Itachi lingered on his feet for another second, and then wandered over to the cushions in the corner of the room. He folded himself down elegantly and watched as Takeru made small talk with Sasuke as he gave him the papers and began to explain everything.

Sasuke didn't hear much of it. 

He didn't remember most of the test. Once he finished answering a question, he forgot what it was about. He was sure he had gotten it all right though. The Hyuuga had never been shy when it came to beating in information.

When he was done, he slid the paper over to the other side of the table without looking up. He listened as Takeru lifted the papers and flickered through them. 

“Impressive as ever, Sasuke-chan.” Takeru rose to his feet. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again, yes?”

Sasuke nodded. Takeru gathered his things, and Sasuke listened as he said a polite goodbye to Itachi, who returned it with a smile that was probably breathtaking. Sasuke didn't get up from his seat to see him out, and neither did Itachi. 

“Who was that, Sasuke?” Itachi asked him quietly once he had left.

Sasuke looked carefully up from the table. “You heard him introduce himself, didnt you? It's just like he said.” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry if the ending wasnt the best, i feel like it was kind of rushed gjdjjfhdj
> 
> pls let me know if you have any questions! i know this story is just. a lot. im rly trying to compress it a bit so its not so overwhelming to read even though i have so many ideas and smaller plotlines i want to do with it. 
> 
> something i do want to make clear is that its not just sasuke who has eleven mates. they are all mates to one another. of course there are going to be many difficulties having so many people in a relationship, but they have all their lives to work it out, and they all care about one another and have a connection. the thing is that sasuke is the only omega, and he is the one who is expected to support his mates when they become clan leaders (except for sakura, tenten, neji, and kiba, since kiba is the 2nd born, and sakura and tenten aren't from prominent clans. still kiba and neji do still have responsibilities in their clans, or at least will one day, and would kiba would be the leader if anything happened to his sister, so sasuke is expected to support them still. tenten and sakura are just expected to rly do whatever they want as they are alphas, and sasuke is also expected to support them and their children while the alphas are going down whatever path they desire. if you're wondering "well what about sasukes dreams? and what he wants?" dont worry. that will all be dealt with/ explained later on. the alphas aren't expected to learn about each others clans bc they have their own clans to manage and or they aren't expected to rule along with their other alpha mates, so while they do have a general education about each others clans, they were not submitted to the kind of rigorous studying and training sasuke was. 
> 
> also i know some of you have been asking/wondering about itachi. i wrote abut 9,000 words for a itachi side story and then decided i hated it. so im currently letting it sit and thinking more about how i want to go about writing that. i feel itachis story is too important/ also just A LOT to just shove into one chapter, so i wanted to either write just a rly long fic all in one shot, or make a chaptered work just for him at some point. 
> 
> also also, i know some of u just want to find out why sasuke left in the first place already, and its still gonna be a bit before we get the full, full story, but hopefully this chapter gave you some ideas. 
> 
> also i know there are still some arguments?? about if the hatake were ever a proper clan or not. for the sake of this fic, lets just say they were.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little shorter than that last few chapters, but i rly wanted to focus on what happens in this one and not just layer it in with other things

“Good morning!”

Sasuke lifted his head to see Obito throwing himself across the room, and barely had time to brace for impact. If he had been able to sleep a bit more, he would have been able to move out of the way in time. He had been up late revising, after a long afternoon of manner training, and before that had been an agonizing morning of table etiquette. None of the clan respestivatives wanted to hear he had learned of what they were trying to teach him by the age of seven and there wasn't any need for reteach him. 

“What do you want?” Sasuke asked, as he shoved Obito off the bed. Obito rolled and landed cleanly, looking up at him with a grin. 

“House arrest is over, community service begins,” Obito sang as he stood and went to pull Sasuke up from the bed. 

“Community service,” Sasuke repeated, and then laid back down. 

Obito quickly grabbed him and pulled him back up. “Yes. Look at what I got you.” Sasuke easily caught Obito's flying present. His eyesight blurred, and it was a moment before he could focus on what he was holding. It was a pair of gardening gloves, dark purple at the wrists and breaking out into light purple flowers on a white backdrop at the fingers and palms. 

“Obito.” 

Itachi's disapproving voice came from the doorway and both Obito and Sasuke turned to find him leaning against the frame. 

“I told you not to wake him up.”

“Ahhh, Itachi!” Obito cried as he stood up. “It's already getting late, and Granny Akemi needs her gardens picked!” 

“Her stall won't fall apart if Sasuke slept a few more hours.”

“Nonsense, nonsense!” Obito waved his hand around.

Before Itachi could put his head through the wall, Obito turned his back to him and held his arms out to Sasuke. “Hey, Sasuke, you want to fly like we did when you were little?”

Sasuke was up and out of bed before Obito could even finish his question. The bathroom door slammed shut just as Obito exploded into laughter behind it. 

////

After putting on the clothes someone-probably Obito-had left for him spread out on his bed someone had made-probably Itachi-he went to the kitchen. Itachi and Deidara were, thankfully, the only ones waiting for him there. 

“Obito had a mission to leave for.” Itachi supplied as Sasuke began eating. 

“Good.”

Itachi's mouth twitched, but he resisted. 

“What is it that I’m doing today?” Sasuke asked once he was nearly done eating. He had been half listening to Itachi and Deidaras conversation, and half lost in some rather entertaining thoughts that he quickly had to kill before they went too far. 

“No lessons at all. Not for a few days, actually. You remember Grandma Akemi right?”

Not their actual grandmother, but every elderly woman, who had had children or not, was called that by their clan members. The Uchiha were more warm than some gave them credit for. 

Of course, Sasuke remembered. Years back, when the relationship between the Uchiha and the village had been more strained, and the compound had first been made, there had been plots of land made for them to grow their food themselves. Now, there were just a few plots for a little market on the compound, and an even smaller stall in the village marketplace. Itachi and he had helped her pick back when they were young a few times. If their mother was out of tomatoes in her own personal patch, they could go over and take some from Grandma Akemi, as long as they picked theirs and then enough to fill up a bucket for her bin. 

“It's been decided you’ll serve the Uchiha by helping her with her autumn harvest.”

Sasuke wasn't the biggest fan of rolling around in the dirt, but he figured no one really was. Shinobi did much worse than get their clothes dirty with actual dirt, and there were worse things than pulling vegetables, like having no food at all. As someone who had had both experiences, he could definitely say which he preferred. 

Sasuke just hummed. 

After finishing his breakfast, they were on their way. He got a few glances from passersby, a few shakes of the head, but no one looked upset to see him walking around, some people even gave him a smile. Sasuke couldn't tell how it made him feel. 

They didn't need an alpha escort on the compound, but Deidara walked them over to the land anyways before he left, saying he had something to do with Sasori. Probably just didn't want to get those weird mouth hands of his dirty. 

They worked in silence, most of the time. He thought Itachi would have taken the opportunity to dig into him, but he just hummed while he worked in his own pair of rose patterned gloves, instead of leaving Sasuke to do it alone. 

They worked for hours, and neither of them was truly tired. It was peaceful, with nothing but the sound of the wind through the leaves of the forest that lined the plot they were working in, and the sound of a few squealing children that were playing, out of sight, on the outskirts of the compound.

It was early afternoon when suddenly, Itachi let out a soft, “Oh.”

Sasuke looked up from where he was cutting free cucumbers to see Itachi pulling off his glove, revealing a long, deep cut running down the side of his hand. Blood gushed out from the wound, staining the glove, and Itachi's hand, running down his wrist. 

“Itachi.” Sasuke went to push himself off the ground. 

Itachi smiled gently. “It's fine, I’ll just go and get it wrapped up.” Itachi stood up and then paused. He looked from Sasuke to the compound, and back again. He was probably considering the pros and cons of leaving Sasuke by himself, considering leaving him alone or not. 

“I won't go anywhere.” Sasuke said. “Just-go and get it cleaned, Itachi. There's dirt and who knows what else in there, what if it gets infected?”

Itachi visibly hesitated. 

“I’ll be here.” Sasuke said again. 

“I...I suppose.” Itachi held his hand in his other, the blood still running down, threatening to stain the end of his high collared shirt. “You’ll be here?”

“I will.”

“I’ll be quick.”

“Okay.” 

Sasuke watched as Itachi left, until he was out of sight. Once he was, Sasuke dropped his scissors, took off his gloves, and leaned back, resting his hands on his lower back and stretching back and forth. He sat on his bottom to put his legs out, flexing them and moving them around as he let his knees get some relief. 

Just as he was about to get back into position, something shot up out of the sky from the forest. He didn't see what it was, but he immediately got up onto his feet. At the first brush of the leaves against his shoulders, he heard something burst out from the top of the trees again, and felt a sprinkle of water that wasn't coming from the cloudy sky touch his face. 

Sasuke cast a look behind him, determined it would still be awhile before Itachi came back, and started running. 

//

He had slowed into a brisk walk, when someone called out from behind him. 

“Yo, Sasuke.”

Sasuke quickly turned, his heart jumping up into his throat. 

He relaxed when he saw who it was, grinning down at him from where he was hanging out of a tree. 

“Suigetsu.”

His heart fluttered with relief at the sight of the alpha, something deeply comforted within him. 

Suigetsu dropped down to the ground and strolled towards him. “It's been awhile.”

It had only been a few weeks, but they hadn’t gone that long without seeing one another since the four of them had first decided to team up. 

“Where are Juugo and Karin?” Sasuke asked, walking closer. Suigetsu swung an arm around him and he relaxed into his side. 

“Damn, they got you dressed like a princess or something,” Suigetsu laughed at him, eyeing Sasuke up and down. Despite the fact he had been sent to work in the gardens, his yukata was made from materials as fine as the ones he used to lounge around the house in between lessons and sparring with Itachi, just a bit more plain. The colors were dark gray and dark blue, easy enough to conceal any stains he might make, and easy enough to wash them out of. 

“I guess the clan heir’s wife is just just a tier or two down from that.”

“Jealous?” 

“You know I am.” There was nothing pained or saddened by the smirk he gave Sasuke. Unlike Juugo, him and Karin had never hid their desire for him. Suigetsu wore it with pride, outdoing even Karin in his displays of affection. Suigetsu would probably posture up right in front of all of his mates without any shame. 

Nonetheless, he didn't push Sasuke. He just didn't hide his feelings. Despite everything, he was someone Sasuke would honestly consider his friend. He never expected anything back in return for helping Sasuke, at least nothing sexual or romantic. There was that one time he had joked that he wouldn't mind turning into Sasuke's bath water, but a kick to the head from Karin that he couldn't dodge in time had had him backtracking quick enough. 

Sasuke looked away from that lavender gaze, a twinge in his stomach. “What are you doing here?” He asked again.

“Wanted to see if you wanted to be broken out.”

Sasuke quieted. For the briefest of seconds, he actually thought about it. 

“No. I’m okay.”

Suigetsu cocked a brow. “You sure?” His arm tightened minutely from where it rested over his shoulders. 

Sasuke nodded. “I’ve made my decision.”

“Well, well, look at Sasuke, finally all grown up.” Suigetsu showed all his sharp teeth, but there was no malice or ill intent. Sasuke could tell he was genuinely amused, maybe even a little proud. “Making big boy decisions for himself.” 

“I figured it was finally time I did.”

“I guess so.” Suigetsu lowered his arm and stepped back. 

“There is something you could do for me,” Sasuke said before he could turn and disappear into the dark thicket of the woods. “I would owe you one,” Sasuke added, when their eyes met. There was a warmth in the depths of those eyes that had so often flashed with an insanity he could understand all too much. Grief was a true bridge to comradeship. 

Suigetsu grinned again. “You owe me way more than one by now.”

“I’ve made all those up to you already.”

“I came here to rescue you.” 

“I never asked you to.”

“Fair enough.” 

Suigetsu leaned back against the tree he had been dangling out of, arms crossed behind his head. “What is it then?” He asked. 

“I need you to go and see Orochimaru for me.” Sasuke said. “See if he has any information he can give me on a certain subject.” 

Suigetsu sighed. “You know, Sasuke, we don't have much longer before we get caught. I was kinda expecting to either grab you and run, or take off by myself again. Can you maybe hurry a bit for me?”

Sasuke’s expression didn’t shift, nor did he feel any guilt or any rush to hurry. Suigetsu could get away plenty fine by himself if he needed to. No common Konoha shinobi would be able to lay a hand on him. Literally. Sasuke could blame it all on him to escape from any trouble, and it would just be one more charge to the countless he already carried. 

“In a few more weeks they’re going to submit me to Lord Second’s creation of judgment. Have you heard of it? You already know there are things I’d rather not share by now.”

“And?” Suigetsu asked. 

“And if anyone knows how to possibly make the ceremony more...selective, it would be Orochimaru.” 

At least the only person who might actually tell him. No one knew the dirty secrets of Konoha like he did. He was yet another person who had gone through the pains village life could force onto someone that wasn't guarded enough. 

“So, you intend to go through with the ceremony, but you’re also planning on not letting them find out why you left in the first place.” Suigetsu summarized, sounding like he was seconds away from laughter. Suigetsu was not at all scolding him, if anything, he seemed thoroughly entertained by Sasuke's plans. 

“Yes.”

“Is that going to be okay for you?” Suigetsu wondered. “If you're going to stay, why not tell them?”

“There's no reason for them to know.” Sasuke snapped, he couldn't control it, he let his emotions slip. “They all more or less believe that I lost my mind because of Mother and Itachi leaving.” Of course it would be in their instincts to blame two other omegas for their own crimes. 

“It seems like an insult to your character.” Now Suigetsu looked to be taking it seriously. “You're not that weak.” Sasuke had been torn apart by his brother and mothers leaving, but he had done his best to power through and keep himself busy so he wouldn't think about it. Sometimes it had worked, and sometimes it didn't, but it had helped a bit at least. 

“Are you going to help me or not?” Sasuke didn't have all the time in the world to be chatting with him either. Itachi would be back at any time, and he was sure he would come looking for him. 

“Fine.” Suigetsu sighed, and made a show of pulling himself off of the tree and picking up his sword which he balanced on his shoulder. “But what are you going to do for me?”

“We’ll discuss it another time. I need to go.”

“Fine, fine. You’re lucky you have my heart, pretty boy.” Suigetsu turned and then stopped. 

“Hey, Sasuke?”

“Yes?”

“If you ever change your mind, just say the word.”

Before Sasuke could even think of a response to that, Suigetsu was gone. Sasuke sucked in one last breath of his salty, fresh scent and then headed back to the fields. 

///

Just before Sasuke reached the treeline, he saw Itachi standing alone where Sasuke had last been kneeling in the dirt, cutting free cucumbers. His whole hand had been wrapped up in a few thick layers of bandages, and he had changed his shirt. The blood had probably gotten on his old one before he could make it. Sasuke stilled, wanting to see what Itachi would do. He seemed to be frozen in time, or at least lost in his thoughts. He stared down at the ground, where Sasuke had left his gardening scissors and the purple, floral patterned gloves Obito had given him. 

Deidara appeared by his side, eyes scanning the trees. 

“Perhaps I’ve been too selfish.” Itachi said, it was so low Sasuke barely caught it. 

Deidara turned to look at Itachi. His head was bowed, hair that had fallen from his ponytail obscuring most of his face. 

“Maybe I should have thought about his feelings more. I always thought I knew Sasuke better than anyone, but maybe I was wrong.” 

Deidara stared at his mate, his eyebrows pinched harshly together, a disapproving look on his face. The alpha was just as explosive as his heart, with each of his reactions just as unexpected as the destruction it could cause. One could only guess what he might do, but never truly know. Of all Itachi's mates, Deidara had always seemed to be the one most unpredictable, and that was saying a lot, considering there was Hidan and Kisame in the mix. 

Sasuke watched Deidara stare at Itachi, his mouth set into a scowl. When he reached out Sasuke almost jumped to intervene, but Deidara only grabbed Itachi by the upper arm and pulled him against him. 

“What, are you an idiot?” 

Itachi tilted up his head, eyes widening. “What?”

“You practically raised that little brat. No one in this world loves the bastard as much as you do. You were only doing what you thought was best.” Deidara paused, and then swept his thumb over Itachi's cheek, cradling his face with his free hand. Sasuke wondered what those weird mouths felt like and hoped he would never find out. 

Deidara's words made him feel several contradicting emotions all at once. Happy that he was still so adored in his brother's eyes, angry and bitter because a part of him always seemed to be angry, ever since that day. Doubt. Confusion. Guilt. Gratefulness. 

“Don't call him those things.” Was all Itachi replied. 

Deidara snorted, but he didn't try to argue. 

“What do you want to do?”

Itachi looked away. “If Sasuke truly would go to these lengths to get away, even after being dragged back, tricking me into thinking he was finally feeling at home again, then maybe...I should let him go.” Itachi didn't sound like he was fond of the idea. 

Sasuke did not wait any longer. He made a smack racket as he walked out from the bush. Itachi’s head snapped around so fast Sasuke worried he might have broken his neck. Deidara moved at a much slower pace. 

“Sasuke,” Itachi said, breathless.

“Where’d you run off to? You made your brother worry.” Deidara intercepted. 

Sasuke resisted the urge to make a snappy retort about he wasn't the only one to ever disappear on Itachi and walked up to his brother who reached out for him. Sasuke took his hand and held it. 

“Where did you go?” Itachi asked, fingers tightening on his as if he was afraid Sasuke would take off running. 

“I thought I saw something in the woods,” Sasuke said, which was totally a lie. He had originally entered because he had seen some suspicious activity. “I started going deeper and deeper before I remembered I shouldn't have left. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“What was it?” 

“No idea. It was probably a trick of the light or something.” Sasuke didn't miss the way Deidara's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but his brother in law kept his opinions to himself for once. 

Itachi took a breath, and it was just a bit deeper than normal, to calm himself. 

“Okay. Lets be done for the day.” Itachi started pulling him out of the gardens and Sasuke followed without hesitation. Now that he had triggered Itachi's instinct to hover and dote, he wouldn't be able to escape for a while. 

“Hey!” Deidara called after them. “Are you seriously leaving me to clean this up?”

“Thank you, honey.”

“Damn Uchiha’s!” 

//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so more things have been revealed about where sasuke was! 
> 
> yes, suigetsu is in love with sasuke, even though their not mates. sasukes feelings for him, in return, are...complicated. 
> 
> orochimaru is quite the character in this fic as well. him and sasuke have a mentor and student relationship like in canon, but its also very different than it is in canon. 
> 
> i know some of you have had complicated feelings about itachi in this, and i hope this chapter showed that he rly is just trying his best. like sasuke, due to his status, he also has certain societal limitations, but he rly is trying despite that.
> 
> pls tell me what you thought! i know there was quite a lot to unpack.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update came kind of fast~ i had it mostly written so i figured i would just add it, since the last chapter worked everyone up a lot gdjfjghdj
> 
> i know you all had a lot of questions, and i hope this answered some of them for you. i feel like ive already answered a few of them with either tags, my notes or the story, but maybe not, i hope this chapter makes it more clear about where everything is going. 
> 
> but yeah. for once, no sasuke this chapter. the pov's are all over the place with this one.

“Naruto, have you seen my sweater?” Kushina yelled up the stairs. When she received no response, she hurried to run up them. She didn't have the time to wait around for her son to finally perk up from his nap and answer her.

She was already running late. She had to go and meet up with the rest of the involved clans to review Sasuke's written tests. Kushina called out to her son one more time, but there was yet another no answer. 

She sighed and threw his door open, figuring that he was still asleep, and what she saw made her come to an abrupt stop. 

Naruto laid on his front on his bed, the very sweater she was looking for being held up to cover his face with both of his hands. He was holding onto it so tight she could see his features through it. 

It was then she suddenly realized that it was also the same sweater she kept on wearing to Sasuke's house. His scent must have been all over it. It definitely was. She hadn't noticed when she was wearing it, since the Uchihas scents were all around her in the house, but she could smell Sasuke from where she stood, his scent even deeper in the sweater than her own. Like it was specifically trying to overwhelm the fabric and find its way back to Naruto. 

The sweater fell a bit from Naruto's face. His eyes were swollen and red, tear tracks staining his cheeks. 

Kushina stepped out and closed the door behind her.

//

“What’s that?” Shikamaru leaned forward lazily to see what was all over his father's desk. Shikaku had called him to discuss...something. He had been half in a rather pleasurable dream when his mother had almost knocked his door clean off its hinges and yelled that his father wanted to see him. 

“Shikamaru.” His father raised his head, dropping his pen. “Their Sasuke's tests.” 

“Sasuke's what?” Shikmaru leaned forward to grab the stack of paper and his father let him. There was not a single red mark on any of the papers, ten of them, front and back. Every circled answer matched with a black checkmark, not a single correction on any of the written answers. Shikamaru was not at all surprised. He flicked through the pile for a few more seconds before tossing it back down on his desk. 

“What does he need that for?” Shikamaru asked. 

His father didn't answer, only picked up the stack and straightened it out. 

“Geez, you really think he needs to take that crap? You know he already knows everything.” Shikamaru continued when he didn't get any answer. 

“I do know.”

“Then what's the point?” Shikamaru rolled his eyes, and then reached up to adjust his collar. It seemed like a big waste of time and effort to him. All a sudden, he felt a bit hot, but there was no point in doing that. 

“The elders wanted us to.” 

“Them again,” Shikamaru scoffed. The elders were such a pain in the ass. It wasn't like any of them were even in any of their clans, and they were just a bunch of old people, so why did they get to have such a big say? They always seemed to come around to ruin everything just in time. 

“What's got you so bothered?” Shikaku asked his son. “I had no idea you still cared about Sasuke enough to advocate for him.”

“I’m not advocating.” 

“Singing his praises then.” 

“No.” Shikamaru inhaled deep when he realized how loudly that denial had come out. “I’m just saying. Sasuke was always one of the smartest of us. All he ever did was study and go to lessons.” There had been times where Sasuke was the one advising him on how to perform his own clans jutsus when he was first learning them, rather than the other way around. Shikamaru had never minded back then, because that was just one less thing for him to have to do. 

“Right.”

“Listen, don't make it seem like something it's not.” Shikamaru snapped. The old man could be so annoying sometimes. All he was doing was trying to save them some time, and he was being accused of things. “What did you want from me, anyways? I was taking a really nice nap.” 

Shikaku shook his head and Shikamaru really didn't like that. He felt it had all sorts of opinions that were not in his favor. “Just...keep an eye on things. I have a long meeting today.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Shikamaru left with a lazy wave. 

He hurried back to his room to return to his nap, but once he laid down, he found he was wide awake, and cursed. Being left alone with his thoughts was too much of a chore recently. 

///

“You haven't seen Sasuke yet?” Hanas voice and face were equally shocked. 

Kiba shook his hanging head. “Mom wont let me.” He had asked, but it had been a very hard and harsh no, and was an outright hit and yell when he asked the second time. 

“You're nineteen years old and he's  _ your  _ bitch.”

Kiba’s head finally stopped lagging somewhere around his midchest, his back straightening out. “Hey, don't call him that!”

Hana smirked from where she sat, looking down at where he sat down on the floor. He had just given Akamaru a bath and was trying to dry off, while Akamaru was already doing laps around the house, having escaped to get dirty all over again. “Why? You don't even have the balls to go and see him and you think you get to tell me what I can or can't call him?”

Kiba’s jaw tightened. “It's more complicated than that.” 

Hana laughed at him, not the least bit impressed by his reaction. “What's complicated? You're really not thinking, are you? How do you think he feels, being all alone in that house, being poked and prodded at by all the parents?” 

Kiba wilted back down. “He...he’s not alone. He has Itachi, and his parents.”

“Yes, I’m sure your bitch feels very good, being dragged back to the village, getting slapped around, locked up in his house, being forced to study like he’s a kid, preparing to have his heart and soul turned inside out.”

Kiba growled. “I told you not to call him that!” 

Hana’s eyes sparkled, giving Kiba a smug look that he immediately hated. “Oh? Make me stop.” 

“He doesn't like it.” Kiba snapped, sitting up on his knees. He still remembered when a member of the clan had referred to Sasuke as that in front of Sasuke when they were young, and Sasuke had  _ cried  _ because it didn't mean the same thing to an Uchiha, or really to anyone who wasn't an Inuzuka. Kiba had promised him right then and there he would never call him that, since it upset him so much. Yes, he had known what it really meant, at least to the clan, but since it upset Sasuke, he didn't think twice about it. 

“So what? It doesn't mean anything, does it?” Hana taunted. “It's just an Inuzuka thing, right? We call all our omegas that, it's not offensive. If your bitch wants to marry into the clan, he should know what he is, right?”

“Hana.” Kiba warned. 

“What? Are you afraid I’ll hurt your bitches feelings? Is he going to cry like his bitch brother just because I’m calling him what he is, which is just a b-” Hana stopped, but only because Kiba had tackled her right out of her chair and onto the ground. 

Kiba straddled her torso, and got in one good hit before she grabbed both of his wrists and locked them in place. Both alphas panted from exertion, Kiba’s fangs digging into his bottom lip he was scowling so hard, while Hana wore a vaguely proud expression. 

“Sasuke is yours. If you want to make sure he stays yours, you need to be a true alpha and speak the hell up. You're not a child anymore, you're not Mom’s little pup. If someone tries to mess with your bi-” Hana dived off when she saw the darkening of Kiba’s eyes. “If someone tries to mess with your mate, you need to put them in their place even if it is Mom.” 

“Sasuke has changed. He’s not the same.” Kiba said. All the growl had left his voice, all the fight from his body. Sasuke wasn't the same as the person he had grown up with, he wasn't the same as the person he had fallen in love with. Kiba could accept that people changed, but it had been so drastic. The snarling person who had almost killed Neji wasn't the same person who had cuddled up so close to him as pups and told him he couldn't wait until they got to marry each other one day. 

“Then fuck the attitude right out of him,” Hana said as if it was that easy. “If he’s sad, fuck that out of him too.” 

“You don't get it.” Kiba finally got off of her. “The elders are convinced he's insane, like  _ actually  _ insane. Some of them think he’s unable to feel love anymore, some doubt if he’s ever been able to.”

“What the fuck?” Hana asked loudly. “You actually think like they do?”

Kiba instantly turned somber. “The last time I saw him, I was laying in mud with one arm and one leg broken, which were both broken by him. I never thought any of us would ever be able to hurt each other like that. I don't know anything about him anymore.”

“What do you think, Kiba?” 

“The elders-”

“Fuck the elders. Kiba, what do  _ you  _ think?” 

“I-”

“No matter what's happened, this is your Sasuke. He’s not not Sasuke just because some things have happened. Whatever he may have become, he was still your Sasuke at the start. What do you think could have happened to your Sasuke to make him like that? Do you still care enough to want him to be yours?”

“I-” Kiba’s eyes welled up with tears.

//FB//

“Kiba.” Sasuke let out the cutest intake of breath, obsidian eyes surrounded by darling lashes widening, the heights of his cheeks flushing the prettiest pink Kiba had ever seen.

Kiba leaned away. “Sorry.” 

Sasuke trembled in his arms, Kiba wondered if it was from excitement or fear, and desperately tried to figure it out. Sasuke isn't showing any of his usual signs of being afraid, nor of his excitement. He realized Sasuke was just nervous, as nervous as Kiba felt. 

He knew Neji had gotten Sasuke's first real kiss, or at least that was what he had heard, but that didn't matter to Kiba. It would be their first kiss together, that was what was important. Kissing someone new for the first time was always nerve wracking, so of course Sasuke would feel nervous. 

“We don't have to.” 

“No,” Sasuke's arms tightened from where they sat around his neck. When Kiba's eyes flashed to his face, he turned even pinkier and quickly lowered his gaze. They stood so close Kiba could feel Sasuke's heart pounding against his own chest, matching with his own racing heart. They beat at the same rhythm. “I...I want to...with you.” Sasuke gasped and his face burned even more, once again. “I mean...I mean kiss...not...not that...I mean…” 

“I know what you mean.” Kiba comforted. He thought he was doing pretty well. Tenten had told him that no one would want to kiss him because he was too easily worked up, got too easily offended that he would ruin the mood, that he didn't know how to be a quote on quote “gentlemen.” Being gentle felt so natural when it came to being with Sasuke. 

Kiba raised his hand to cup the side of Sasuke's face, and the omega immediately leaned into his touch. He could feel how warm his skin was and his heart raced even faster. Sasuke was so warm, so soft. Kiba loved him so much, he would die to protect him. He felt so small and fragile in his arms. 

Kiba leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sasuke's forehead. When he pulled back, Sasuke was staring up at him with eyes red rimmed and glazed with tears. 

He immediately panicked, but before he could say anything, Sasuke leaned forward and kissed him, his hands clinging onto the collar of his furred jacket. He scrambled to kiss back properly, this was his first kiss, he had saved it for Sasuke, he needed to-

Sasuke pulled back with a shy smile. 

“Kiba,” He whispered, their lips still so close they brushed when he spoke. “I love you.” He realized then, that he was trembling just as badly as Sasuke was. 

He floundered, letting out several embarrassing noises before he got his tongue to work. “I love you! You, too, I mean. You, Sasuke. I l-love you t-too.” He must look like such an idiot. 

Sasuke smiled happily, the smile that made Kiba feel like he was never going to be able to breath right ever again, and then tucked his face into Kiba’s neck, surrounded by Kiba’s coat’s furry collar. 

“I’m so happy.” Sasuke whispered. 

//FB over//

Kiba lowered his head, as the feelings from that washed back over him. As the walls he had formed around his heart since the first day Sasuke had tried to attack one of them fell apart. “I love him.” It came out so soft no one but an Inuzuka could have caught it. 

“Love him? Or loved him?” Hana asked. 

“Love him.” Kiba whispered, his whole body was shaking. 

“And did he love you?” Hana kept at him. 

“Yes.” Kiba whispered, tears finally escaping him. They burned like lava on his skin. 

“And despite everything, you still love him?”

“Yes,” Kiba sobbed out. 

“So do you think that, despite everything, he could also still love you?” 

Kiba’s head shook back and forth, but not because he was trying to deny those words. He just didn't know, he didn't know anything anymore. Of course he still loved Sasuke, he just...didn't understand. He just wanted to understand. Why had Sasuke done those things? Why,  _ why?  _ His heart was so conflicted he could hardly breath. Nothing made sense. Sasuke breaking down all of a sudden after his mother and brother had already been gone for months just didn't make sense, it had never made sense. Takeru had sworn to them that was what Sasuke had said though. 

Hana pulled him to her when he broke down into frenzied sobs. 

///

“Well, this isn't good.”

Hinata’s gaze shot up anxiously. “W-what?”

Takeru clicked his tongue and shook his head. Hinata watched with her heart in her throat while he picked through the papers he had spread out over the low table. Hinata had come to ask him how the results had been, because she knew her father was waiting for them so he could bring them to the clans so they could be looked over. 

“It seems Sasuke hasn't remembered as much as we had hoped.” Takeru’s eye was remorseful as he looked up and met her’s.

“W-what do you mean?” Hinata asked, wanting to edge forward so she could look at them, but she did not dare to move any closer. 

What kind of alpha was she? She had asked that of herself for years, but she didn't have an answer. It seemed the only way she could ever be in control was in the bedroom. Whenever she thought of herself and Sasuke together, it was always about having him underneath her, his body filled to the brim with her, skin patterned with marks left from her hands, lips and teeth, him crying and whining for her, her touch, her approval. It satisfied a part of her she was sometimes too scared to think about. 

In reality, she could barely look him in the eye. Whenever she did, those urges would overwhelm her. She was too frightened she might actually hurt him if she even looked at him for too long. When she was young, she had only felt the urge to bite, but as they got older, they changed and became much more violent and sexual. 

Right now, she wished she could channel some of those urges she felt and be alpha enough to demand to look at her omegas test answers. Any alpha would have just grabbed them and taken a look at them themselves. She was sure Naruto would have. 

Takeru flipped the test over onto its front just as she found the courage to glance at it. 

“I’m going to try to save a bit of face for him, Hinata-sama.” Takeru said solemnly.

That only made her feel more anxious. “Did he really do that poorly?” That was wrong. That didn't sound like Sasuke at all, but she was too afraid to say it. 

It happened years ago too. Sasuke was desperately trying to get all his lessons done during the spring, but by the time it was time for them to leave the village for all their special training, Sasuke had to stay behind. Naruto had gone with Jiraiya for the second year in a row, Sakura had gone with Tsunade. Sasuke was supposed to go with Kakashi. 

Sasuke had always done well at his lessons. After Itachi had left, Sasuke's old tutor had retired, and Takeru had taken over. He was one of the best in the clan, and her father trusted him to teach Sasuke well. 

Just a few days after he had begun teaching him, Takeru told her father he feared for Sasuke's education. It was no fault of Sasuke’s but his old tutor was so old, he hadn't taught Sasuke as well as he should have, and he was very behind on everything. 

By the time late summer had come, Sasuke had not improved as much as he should have, and he was left behind. Kakashi had gone with Gai to help him train his team instead.

Based on the things Sasuke had mentioned, Hinata had always thought Sasuke was doing very well in lessons, especially in the ones for the Hyuuga. But she knew Takeru had only wanted what was best for Sasuke, so something must have been wrong with the old tutor who had gone off to retire outside of the village. 

Takeru nodded, looking apologetic. 

“I’m going to write his answers out for him on another sheet, and,” Takeru winced. “Try to correct some of the things he did wrong, so your father isn't too disappointed. I’m sorry, Hinata-sama, but we might have to continue lessons for him.”

It wasn an embarrassment, or was supposed to be. Anyone who married into the clan was expected to be an expert on the Hyuuga by Sasuke's age. 

“Maybe I can talk to Hiashi-sama.” Takeru attempted. “We can give him another chance at the tests before we go any further. 

Takeru was such a kind person. It truly warmed her heart how much he cared about Sasuke. Hinata wished that she could have her own look, but she knew Takeru only wanted what was best for Sasuke, so she trusted him. That was right, she didn't need to look for herself. Just as her father had done, she would trust Sasuke to Takeru. 

“D-do what you think is best.” She said, and Takeru smiled at her.

“Don't worry, Hinata-sama. Sasuke will know everything he needs to in time for the wedding.”

Hinat nodded, and willed away her worry. Sasuke was as smart as he was beautiful. He would master everything, and everything would be okay. She so badly wanted to go and see him again, but father had forbidden her too. 

She wanted to argue, but she knew how that would. She didn't have it in her to argue with him right now. 

“Um...Takeru-san? Can I ask you something?”

Takeru beamed at her. “Of course, Hinata-sama. What is it?” 

“When...years ago, you know. Sasuke...did he really…” She looked at his scarred face, his missing eye, and then quickly away. “Did he really do everything...because of Itachi?” She didn't know what made her ask. It wasn't that she thought Takeru was lying, but it had always seemed odd. 

Takeru nodded sadly, his eye dimming. As if he couldn't control it, he raised his hand and laid it over his missing eye. He had once been a very handsome alpha, one of the most handsome in all the clan, and that was saying something. 

The last she knew, Sasuke had been right with himself, for the most part. He had been through a lot, but he was staying strong. He had even smiled at her and told her they should spar when she got back, so she could teach him everything she had learned while she was away. 

Little had she known that the next time she would see him, it would be in a real battle, and against each other. 

She supposed she just needed to accept that the Sasuke of the past was gone, and learn to love the new Sasuke just as he was. 

///

“What do you have your mom worrying for?” 

Naruto perked up.

“Pervy Sage!” 

“Don't you think you're getting too big for that swing?” Jiraiya asked as he took a seat on the ground, leaning back against the tree's trunk. 

Naruto hadn't even thought about that. He had just been thinking, and he had naturally come here, which had only led him to think some more. He held on tightly to the ropes on either side, and let his feet slide him to an abrupt stop. 

“What are you doing here?” It had been awhile since they had last seen one another. It wasn't unusual, since Jiraiya was always coming and going as he liked. He never failed to feel happy when Jiraiya suddenly dropped by on him, and this time wasn't an exception. 

“You thought I was going to miss everything that's going on?”

Naruto watched as Jiraiya made himself comfortable, and then reached into his pocket. His eyes lit up when the popsicle was produced, and reached out with a greedy hand before Jiraiya could even snap it apart and hand him his half. 

They ate in relative silence, mostly for the fact Naruto didn't let up off the popsicle until there was nothing but the wooden stick left. Jiraiya handed him the rest of his half with a sigh, and he ate that just as fast. 

“How are things going with Sasuke?” Jiraiya asked, once Naruto had finished. 

“It sounds like you already know.” 

Jiraiya just nodded with an exaggerated hum of confirmation. 

“I’m pretty sure if your parents had had a choice in the matter, they would have made sure your romantic affairs were much more simple.” 

Naruto wasn't sure about that. Sometimes his mother seemed unfairly angry at everything that had happened, and other times they both acted like they just wanted everything to go smooth and work out. Either way, he didnt care what his parents thought. Even if he had had a choice in all of this, he was certain he would have still decided to be with them. 

“You know, Naruto, no one gets to choose who their mates are.” Jiraiya said. Naruto's eyes flashed to his godfather, watched as the wind mussed his uncontrollable hair and threw around the scent of pine grass. 

“I know.” He had found his mates before he could even remember. They had always been together. It had always felt right. They were embedded into every part of each other's being. Their chakra and souls all linked together before they were even born. 

“Yeah?” Jiraiya smiled faintly. “Then what are you doing?”

“I’m...sitting on a swing?” 

Jiraiya raised a hand and hit himself on the forehead. “I don't understand. Both your parents are so smart.” 

“Hey!” 

Jiraiya crackled with Naruto huffed. It was a few minutes before he sobered back up. His eyes darkened, and he lowered them to his own knees. 

“That doesn't mean you  _ have  _ to be together. For alphas, it's possible for them to feel attraction to other people, betas too, but it's not possible for omegas, not unless their mate is dead. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

Naruto shook his head. He himself had never felt any attraction to anyone who wasn't his mates. He supposed, with everything that Itachi had gone through when he was young, he should have figured that out. 

“Do you know what that means, Naruto?”

Again, Naruto shook his head. 

Jiraiya closed his eyes, looking surprisingly patient. 

“It means that, for Sasuke, all of you are all that he has. Even if there was someone who wanted him, he could never want them back, not with you alive. But,” Jiraiya lifted his head, eyes opening to show the darkness suddenly in them. “That doesn't mean he has to stay here with you. He always has the choice of being alone.”

“One day, if you're not careful, if you don't treat him right, Sasuke could leave again and he could never come back. Not all prophecies come true, there needs to be work done in reality to back them up. Take that from someone who knows from first hand experience.”

Naruto's mouth fell open as he was hit with a realization. 

How had he forgotten all about Orochimaru? He had been rather small at the time, but he could still remember seeing the omega with Jiraiya and Tsunade. He had been alive when Orochimaru left, never to be seen again. He didn't give an explanation, he just picked up one day and left them. 

“I want Sasuke to stay!” Just the thought of Sasuke leaving again, being so far from him like he had been for years, made him feel like he was going to go feral. 

Jiraiya let out a humorless laugh. 

“Yeah, kid, I know you do.” 

He hadn't ever talked with his godfather like this before. All these years, Jiraiya had been giving him advice on how to help Sasuke, to bring him back, and he had completely ignored the fact Jiraiya had probably done the same thing at one point. 

“Do you think what you're doing is right?” 

Naruto froze, the only thing in movement his stuttering heart. 

“Huh?”

“He’s finally back, but you’re all keeping your distance.”

“Ino said-”

“Ino went over there too soon. He had just gotten back, he had a few very long days and nights all laced together. Of course he wouldn't want all of you in his face right after he got pulled back. It's been weeks, and you haven't seen him since.” 

Naruto struggled for a moment. “I wanted to but-”

“But instead you steal your own mother's sweater to cry all over it just because it smells like him.” Naruto flushed, but Jiraiya kept going. “That isn't like you at all. Since when have you ever been afraid of barging into Sasuke's space and letting him know exactly how you feel?” 

Jiraiya was right. 

“Don't be like that prick Shikamaru, alright?”

“Hey! Shika isn't-”

“He doesn't know how to act around omegas, never has, so he acts like a right bastard.” Jiraiya laughed and leaned back against the tree. “I'm kind of a hypocrite for saying that, I guess. I was never all that good to Orochimaru. Neither was Tsunade.” 

He wasn't kidding. Despite the closeness between Naruto's parents and Jiraiya, Naruto vividly remembered his mother using Jiraiya and Tsunade specifically as an example on how not to treat Sasuke. Drinking, whoring and gambling while your omega suffered multiple miscarriages really wasn't a good look. 

“What would you do?” Naruto asked, softly. He looked down between his knees, not able to look up at his godfather. At least he was able to admit his faults. Naruto knew he had made mistakes, but sometimes he still couldn't figure out what those were, why he had done them. 

Instead of sitting up in Shinos room asking about how Sasuke was, he should have gone and reached out a hand to him himself. He should have encouraged the others to do the same. He knew they were all scared, some of them were still angry, but it wasn't something they shouldn't be able to work through together. 

They were Sasuke's mates. It was their job to make sure that he was loved, taken care of. Even if Sasuke still had to go through the ceremony, they should still show him their support along the way. 

“No one is saying you can't make mistakes. Sasuke has made his own, too. But you're all adults now, if you want this to actually work out, you need to try your best.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this chapter was A LOT of information to take in 
> 
> i know all of you have rly wanted to know what tf sasukes mates have been doing, so i hope this kind of gave you an answer, even tho not all of them were in it. 
> 
> i am ready to take responsibility for all the emotions i have caused, both good and bad. please let me know what you thought!
> 
> also i know some ppl asked about a possible team taka abo fic or maybe a suigetsu/sasuke abo fic, and i actually have one of the latter about half written, and plan on writing something for the former some time in the future. i plan on working on both of them more once i finish one or two of my shorter fics i have going on rn.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this chapter takes place after kakashi and sasuke had their meeting (excluding the flashback which happened a couple years earlier), and the following scene with itachi takes place after the happenings of the last chapter, so the timing skips around a bit for anyone confused 
> 
> TW: suicide attempt/suicidal thoughts, and panic attacks 
> 
> i know its in the tags but i wanted to mention it again

His one and only baby. 

That was what Lee was.

Kakashi had made a lot of mistakes in his life, too many of them really, but Lee had never been one of them. People had whispered that his son was his biggest mistake, and he supposed getting pregnant so early had been. There were many consequences he had to face, but they were his and his alone to deal with. 

But Lee was worth it. 

The moment he had held his baby for the first time was the moment he truly knew what unconditional love felt like. No matter what, Kakashi would always love his son. He would always come first. 

He was perfect. He was so like Gai it was almost funny, no, it was definitely borderline hilarious, but he had liked it that way. The less their child was like him the better. 

Even for an omega, Kakashi's love for his son, their bond, was incredibly strong. It had been hypothesized that Kakashi's young mind had latched onto his offspring even more than an older omega would have. His instincts told him that his baby was vulnerable, his parents too young to protect him properly, so he was extra careful, extra attentive. 

Lee had been his light in the darkness. It had just been different. For a long time, Kakashi had felt too ashamed to show his feelings in front of Gai, but he could hold his baby and cry and there would be no judgment. 

Kakashi had never allowed himself to have another child. It wasn't that he didn't want one, but Lee was already more than he deserved. For his sins, he would take care of Lee better than any mother had taken care of their child. What he wanted mattered very little. 

Kakashi never thought that his son would have a place in a prophecy, and too find out about it when he was just...so tiny, it had been hard for him to process. But it was Minato's sensei's son, Obitos little cousin, and so on and so forth, and eventually, he accepted it. 

There was no need to have any more children. He had twelve of them now. Twelve little souls he was partially responsible for, that he would come to love nearly as much as he loved his own son. 

It was agreed that it was best to not keep them away from one another, once they had all been found. That would just cause more problems down the line. It was best for them to learn early on how to interact with one another. 

Of course, there had still been some failures. Hinata had run Sasuke down like she was trying to kill him more often than not, and Shikamaru, despite his fathers best efforts, seemed to not know how to act around Sasuke. Hinata had grown out of it, for the most part, but Shikamaru had just gotten worse with age. 

Lee was perfect, because of course he was. There were times when he was a bit...over enthusiastic. Kakashi could see when he exasperated Sasuke but he was always gentle, always kind, always jumping in to protect Sasuke, whether it be from a dropped cup or one of Naruto's off aimed kicks or an animal they found when they were running around the woods. 

His son wasn't always the taijutsu master he currently was, so more often than not, he had taken those hits himself. 

His son was  _ good.  _ There was no better word to describe him. Kakashi and Gai had raised him right, he would have never done anything to hurt Sasuke on purpose, he would have never lost control, he would never stray and be unfaithful. 

Kakashi had never liked the way the rest of the clans constantly badgered Sasuke and kept him locked up in a classroom like that was going to really help him. He taught Sasuke first hand, usually outside, and Sasuke actually looked like he was enjoying himself. He passed things down to Sasuke he would never be able to pass down to his son. 

Kakashi wanted to help Sasuke's dreams come true. He wanted him to become strong just as much as Sasuke did. 

He still remembered Sasuke telling him for the first time, mouth formed into a pout, that he wanted to become as strong as his mates, that he wanted to be able to keep up with them. That he wanted to be a strong omega like his brother. 

“I can do all of those things. I can be a good mother, a good mate, and a strong ninja, all at the same time!” 

Kakashi had thought that if anyone could do those things, it would definitely be Sasuke. 

“Kakashi, do you really think I can ever be as strong as Nii-san?” 

Those obsidian, endless eyes staring up at him, full of limpid tears, a little body covered in bruises and burns from practicing by himself. His tone hopeless and lost, just on the brink of defeat. 

The aching of his own heart, longing to comfort and guide this child that looked up to him with such adoration, no matter how much Kakashi himself knew he didn't deserve it. The fact Sasuke idolized him nearly as much as he did his elder brother never failed to leave him speechless. 

Sasuke adored him, and Kakashi felt the same. 

So, why? 

After he had put so much trust into him, loved him as much as he loved the child he had torn his body apart for just to birth, why had Sasuke almost taken his son away from him? 

The sight of his son's nearly lifeless body, caked in blood, would never be able to leave him. 

The sound of his sons hopeless sobs, his screams and cries for the pain to go away. 

Having to watch his beautiful, perfect baby lose the will to want to live, all of his energy, all of his dreams, all sucked right out of him. 

//fb//

“Mother, what's even the point?”

Kakashi stood over his son, the kunai he had just torn out of his hand held up and away from him. He wanted to throw it away, but he was terrified that Lee would get it if he did. Kakashi's legs were stiff and shaking, he didn't think he could move. 

“If the surgery doesn't work, if Sasuke is lost, if Neji...if Neji doesn’t...what's the point?”

Kakashi's eyes ranked down his son's arm, vision blurred from streaming hot tears. The cut began at the inner elbow, the first few following inches of the cut deep and gaping, and then curving around his arm, not as deep, and ending just outside his upper wrist. 

What if he had been too late? What if he hadn't come to check on Lee? What if he had been slower to grab the kunai and rip it out of his hand? 

“What's the point?” Kakashi repeated. All his usual cold anger and controlled demeanor had left him. 

Nothing...nothing was like this. 

He now knew how Mikoto had felt, all those months ago. 

Lee lowered his head and shook it frantically. He made a horrible sound that ate up at Kakashi's insides. An invisible hand had reached into his torso and was shredding apart his stomach and his heart with claws, another had shoved itself through his hand and was smashing apart his brain. 

His chest heaved. He tried his hardest to think clearly. He had been trained to deal with this kind of thing. He had helped Mikoto with Itachi, before they had taken him away. 

“I’m so useless,” Lee said. “All of my worthless bragging, all my boosting, all of my efforts, it all means nothing. I...I mean n-nothing…”

Kakashi didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. Where was Gai? He needed him. Where was-

Kakashi did the only thing he knew he could. He grabbed Lee, blood and all, and pulled him into his arms. He desperately released his own scent, hoping that it would calm him even a little. Here, he was safe. Kakashi could guard him from anything and anyone here, even himself. 

If anything, Lee just broke apart further. Kakashi held him even tighter. The kunai was still in his fist, and he wouldn't let it go. As soon as he was able to, he wanted to destroy it. 

“You’re my son,” Kakashi said, brokenly, against Lee’s hair. It was still as soft as the day he was born, when Kakashi had run his own little cheek against his head for the first time. “You could never mean nothing.”  _ You mean everything to me. You are my everything.  _

What was the pointing of living if his baby wasn't alive with him? If he had been too late, Kakashi was sure he would have slit his own wrists with the same kunai Lee had used, and gone with him. Is this how Itachi had felt when his son had died? Yes. Yes, now he understood. 

_ Sasuke, I’ll never forgive you. Never. Never, never, never.  _

_ //fb end//  _

The door to the Uchiha main house slammed shut behind him, and Kakashi wandered out into the street.

His stared at the paper fan crests right across the street, all over those high walls, red and white blurring until he realized it wasn't the paint moving, but him. 

Just when he tried to balance himself, a hand grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back against their chest. Kakashi tilted his head up, eyes slowly focusing on Obito's face. 

“Let me take you home.” Obito said. 

Kakashi pulled away from him, skin hot. The world tilted for a second, but he quickly made himself refocus. 

“I’m fine on my own.” Kakashi snapped, and hurried down the street. 

As soon as he got home he was going to lay down and hope Minato didn't call on him for the rest of the day. 

Quiet footsteps followed him, and at the corner Kakashi whirled around to glare at the irritating alpha. 

“Did you not hear me?” Kakashi asked, hands shoved in his pockets. 

“You look like you're about to faint.” Obito said, not looking at all put off by Kakashi's snappy attitude. 

“I’m fine, Obito.” Kakashi assured him, voice softening. He didn't meet the alphas searching eyes, keeping his own lowered. 

“Gai wouldn't forgive me if I just let you pass out on the street.”

“I don't need to be watched.” Kakashi sighed, and turned sharply away, but his knees buckled, and he almost fell to the ground. 

The only thing stopping him from doing just that was Obito, who had hurried forward to sweep him up into his arms. Kakashi let out a shaky breath. 

“Thank you.” Kakashi said as firmly as he could manage. “Now put me down.” 

“Let me help you,” Obito said, easily hopping up onto the nearest roof, extra weight and all, not making a single noise. “You’re sick.” 

Kakashi wanted to argue further, but he couldn't deny that he felt awful. 

Seeing that he wasn't going to refuse, Obito began the brief trek to the Hatake residence. It was near the compound, by a wooded area. 

It was the same house he had grown up in, where his father had died. Everyone had been shocked when Kakashi decided he would raise his son there. 

Obito went in through the bedroom window, nudging it open with his foot when he leapt into it, and rolling right in to lay Kakashi down on the bed. 

Before Kakashi could sit up, Obito took off his sandals and his flak jacket, tossing them both into the closet. 

“I’ll get you some water.” 

Kakashi watched from the bed while Obito walked out of the room. He wanted to call after the alpha, tell him to just go home, but he knew that wouldn't work. The fool would stick around until he was satisfied. 

Kakashi felt sluggish, and rolled over onto his side. He had been a back sleeper in his youth, but once he got pregnant, he had started sleeping on his side because it was the only way he felt comfortable. Even years later, it stuck and it was still the most comfortable way for him. He stuck an arm underneath his pillow and closed his eyes. 

He had felt fine this morning. Anxiety could make anyone feel fatigued and sick. Kakashi always tried to keep a cool head, but he had felt too much on his way to the Uchiha compound, and he wasn't able to keep his emotions in check when he was with Sasuke. 

Then, against his will, the memories of the worst day of his life had come back to him. Kakashi did everything in his power to not think about it, because every time he did, he felt the world tilt on its axis. It had caused more than a couple of panic attacks before. 

Right when he was on the cusp of sleep, he heard the bedroom door slide back open and quiet bare footsteps moving towards him. 

“Obito,” Kakashi began, sluggishly. “How come you still wanna take care of me, even now?” 

Obito’s face saddened, but he didn't answer right away. He sat the water down then walked to the side of the bed, and sat down on the edge, right next to Kakashi. His back nestled right against Kakashi's stomach. 

His hand reached out, running over the soft sheets that Kakashi and Gai shared together every night that they were both home. 

“I already told you, haven't I?” Obito whispered. 

Kakashi didn't answer, for he was already asleep. 

Obito’s hand slowly reached up, and gently came down to rest in Kakashi's hair. 

////////

“Itachi, can you be honest with me?” 

Sasori watched as Itachi leaned forward with his gardening scissors, cutting down some invisible grass around their son's tombstone. He didn't know what his mate was finding unsightly, but he had learned long ago not to question him when it came to this. It was healing for him, and that was all that they wanted. 

“About what, dear?” Itachi asked softly. 

Sasori carefully considered his words. “You’ve been acting not yourself.” 

Itachi’s lip quirked up on one side behind his hair, but when he turned to face his husband, his face was perfectly blank, eyes soft. 

“I’m sorry,” Itachi reached out to pet his thigh. He could feel the place where his organic leg turned into wood, a bit above the knee. He doubted many would be able to. His husband's work was near immaculate, there really wasn't a better puppeteer out there. 

“Don't try and distract me,” Sasori muttered, gently hooking a finger underneath Itachi's chin. 

Itachi smiled. “I wasn't.”

Sasori's other hand went to his hair, gently sliding through the inky strands. Itachi let out a happy sigh and lowered his head so it rested in his alphas lap, right where his wooden limb started. Sasori raised both his hands for a moment, before lowering one back to rest atop his head. 

“What's wrong?” Sasori asked, tucking Itachi's hair behind his ear gently. Even amongst his mates, Sasori had never been someone who performed casual touch, but he always felt comfortable touching Itachi, even when he hadn't wanted to. 

itachi rubbed his cheek against his leg, mulling over what he should say, but was saved. 

The door closest to them suddenly burst open and a head of blonde hair stuck through it. “‘Tachi, someone is at the door!” 

Itachi rose a brow. “So let them in?” He was sure that his husbands were comfortable enough in the house to at least do that. 

“Umm,” Itachi looked up at Deidara’s hesitation. It was very unlike him. “Uh. I think you should see who it is first?” 

Itachi and Sasori shared a look, and then the alpha held out his hand, helping Itachi up to his feet. 

“I’ll be right back.” Itachi brushed a hand against his shoulder and then walked back into the house, wrapping his sweater tightly around him just as he reached the door, and a familiar scent greeted him. 

“Oh.’

“Yeah.” Deidara looked uncomfortable. “I figured I would leave that to you.”

It took Itachi a moment to recover from his shock, but he appreciated Deidara's intentions once he did. “Why don't you go and sit with Sasori?”

“You don't have to tell me twice.” 

He was gone in an instant, as if he had been waiting to be cut loose so he could escape the conversation that was sure to be awkward that was about to go down. 

Itachi took a moment to compose himself, and then opened the door. 

Their eyes met, and the visitor let out a nervous laugh and immediately scratched at the back of his head. 

“Eh, um, H-Hi, Itachi-n….Itachi.” Naruto said. 

“Naruto-kun,” Itachi said, lips pressed into a thin, severe line. “What can I do for you?” 

Itachi had never treated him so coldly. The young alpha visibly winced at his tone, the drag of his fingers turning rougher. Itachi had always been like a big brother to all of Sasuke's mates, doting on them, giving them heartfelt advice, teasing them, being there for them when they were upset. 

“Um...I wanted to visit Sasuke.” Naruto got out. “I mean- if...If he wants to see me too.” 

His eyes shifted around, but they were suddenly drawn straight and caught by Itachi's obsidian gaze. 

Naruto’s fingers, both the ones buried in his hair and the ones hidden underneath his jacket sleeve trembled. Itachi's eyes were no joke. In an instant, they could become dangerous. It was more than that though, they were more unnerving than any Uchiha. Even when they had been younger, Naruto had always been convinced Itachi could see right through his head and tell what was going on in his brain, same for his heart. Something about them was all knowing. 

Naruto didn't dare to look away, he tried his best to show his good intentions. 

Itachi smiled after a moment, and what a difference it made. Itachi had a beautiful, angelic face, but anyone would feel a strike of fear run through them when he fixed them with his stony expression. 

“I’ll go and ask him.” 

Naruto visibly swallowed and nodded. “Okay-Y-yeah.” 

Itachi considered telling him not to be so nervous, but decided against it. He was sure Sasuke wouldn't react too badly, but still, it was just best to be prepared. 

There was a slight spring in his step as he walked to Sasuke's room. His little brother had been absent all morning. Itachi wasn't too worried. They had sparred the morning before, and then Sasuke had had etiquette lessons all afternoon until dinner time, so he was probably just tired.

Sasori and Deidara both looked up at the sound of the door opening, a hint of anxiety on either of their faces that washed away as soon as Itachi shot them a bright smile as he walked past the garden. Both of their expressions softened, and they turned to smile at one another. 

A happy Itachi meant a very happy life, afterall. 

Itachi’s good mood lasted another minute, right before he was about to knock on Sasuke's bedroom door. 

A crash came from inside, and Itachi knocked the lock out of place with a flick of his wrist, shoving the door out of his way. 

“Sasuke?”

His heart twisted painfully at the sight of Sasuke curled up in the corner of his room, still in his sleeping attire. He leaned against the wall like he had not a single ounce of strength in his body, one hand clutching at his chest and the other pawing at the wall, eyes twisted closed and mouth opened in frantic gasps. His face was flushed in distress, tears rushing down his face. 

Itachi panicked for all of a second before he stepped into the room. He moved closer to his brother, but lowered himself down into a kneel a few paces away. 

“Look at me,” Itachi said gently. “It's just me, okay? It's just Nii-san, you can look at me.” 

Sasuke's eyes slowly opened, more tears running free. 

“What do you need?” Itachi asked. He wondered briefly if Sasuke had sensed Naruto's presence. He hadn't, when he was out in the garden, but mates could detect one another across a further distance, just as someone could do with their children and close family. 

Sasuke opened his mouth to talk, but his breathing just turned more frantic, his face twisting as sobs attacked his fragile frame. 

“Sasuke!” 

Itachi turned to tell Naruto to leave, but he stopped. He had thought Naruto would just make Sasuke panic further, but at the sound of his voice, Sasuke's eyes cleared a little. 

“Im sorry, Itachi,” Naruto said. “I just...I knew something was wrong so I just-”

“Come and sit.” 

Naruto hurried over to follow the command. As soon as he was inside, Sasuke only had eyes for him. Itachi watched in amazement as his chest began to heave a little less, his breath becoming just a touch slower. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto breathed, eyes wet, hands resting on his knees. “I’m sorry, I-” Sasuke's soft whimper broke him off. His face crumbled, sobbing loudly and he reached the hand that had been clinging to the wall outwards towards Naruto. 

Naruto held his own out immediately, and in a second, Sasuke was in his arms, clinging onto one of them with both of his while the other curled around his shaking frame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much to unpack in this chapter hjwofjkele i hope it wasnt too overwhelming 
> 
> pls tell me what you thought! 
> 
> i know they'll probably be many guesses on why Sasuke was having a panic attack. im very curious to see if anyone will get it right~ 
> 
> i know a lot of people are v angry with kakashi. i wonder if this will make anyone change their mind a little?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah sorry for the long wait~ the end of semester was very stressful and i had a lot of things to do. then i got rly depressed bc of a comment on another fic and a bunch of ship antis just in general in the fandom and im trying to get back into my groove but its been hard. 
> 
> so there are a couple flashbacks in this chapter. one of them is from when they were all in the academy, and the other is from when sasuke was fifteen. after that, the story resumes from where we left off last chapter. 
> 
> tw for a kind of?? explicit description of vomiting. also other bodily fluids. 
> 
> also i know its in the gags but tw for blood/gore/some mild body horror. more than half this chapter is extremely unpleasant

“Sasuke, come out and play.” 

Sasuke looked up with heavy lids to see Naruto standing on his tiptoes in the doorway of his bedroom. 

“I can't.” Sasuke whispered. He didn't mean to speak in such a low voice, but he found he didn't have enough strength to raise his voice. His stomach was in deepset knots from hunger, and his hand shook around his pencil from where it hovered over his notebook. 

Naruto, of course, did not take that for an answer and strode into the room, coming to stand at the back of Sasuke's chair. He grabbed it from either side and gave it a slight shake. 

“Studying again?” Naruto groaned as he peered over the top of Sasuke's head. 

“I’m copying my notes.” Sasuke explained, clearing his throat so he could be a bit louder. How long had it been since he had last drank? It must have been when Itachi had brought him tea the night before, before he had left for his sudden mission. 

“You already know all that stuff.” Naruto sighed, as if Sasuke was being ridiculous. He gave his chair another little shake. 

Sasuke clicked his tongue, and put down his pencil as if it was a chore. 

“What do you want to do?”

Naruto snickered and reached around to pull at Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke swatted his fingers away and pouted up at him. 

“Sakura-chan wants us all to go swimming.” 

Sasuke shivered just at the thought. He already felt the iciness on his skin. They always went down to the same place to swim, and even in the depths of summer, the water somehow never got warm. 

“So you only came to ask me because she wanted you to?” His voice was bitter, but Naruto didn't pick up on it. 

For some time now, Naruto had been paying less and less attention to him and focusing on Sakura instead. He didn't know where this turn of events had come from, but it was just...odd. For some reason, whenever he thought about it, all the muscles in his body would tighten up until he was so uncomfortable he had to move around until it all left. His neck was constantly aching because of it, his muscles feeling torn up. 

It wasn't just Naruto. Lately, Lee had been paying more attention to Sakura too, Hinata was focusing on Naruto, Sakura and Ino on one another, Tenten and Neji on one another, Choji and Shikamaru, Shino and Kiba. 

“Aw, it's not like that,” Naruto grinned, Sasuke could feel it against the back of his head. “Come on Sasuke~ I’ll feed you.” 

Did they not like him anymore? 

“Well, Tenten will feed you. She made us food. Don't worry, she made sure Lee didn't touch it.” Naruto giggled at his own joke. 

Sasuke huffed and pushed his hair out of his face. 

“Whatever.” 

Sasuke got up and shoved Naruto several times in the chest until he was standing outside his room and slammed the door shut. 

Naruto whined loudly and hit at the door for several minutes, cursing at Sasuke with every word that he knew as he tried to pry the door back open. 

Just when he thought he was going to get it to give a bit, the door disappeared, and he went crashing to the ground, his forehead smacking on the door frame.

“I thought we were going swimming.” Sasuke scowled, bag on his shoulder as he used Naruto's back as a springboard to jump out into the powerful summer heat. 

When he was halfway down to the corner Naruto sprung up into the air and cheered loudly, following Sasuke out of the house after they both went to tell his mother they were going out. 

Naruto wouldn't let him not get in the water. 

Sasuke told him-and no, he didn't whine- that it was too cold and he was going to only dip his feet in. That lasted for about five seconds before Akamaru tackled him at a dead sprint and sent him flying all the way into the middle of the lake. 

He resurfaced to the sound of Ino shrieking at Kiba to control his “stupid dog” and Lee paddling out to retrieve him. 

He hung onto the older boys back and allowed him to swim them both back to the docks where Ino was holding Kiba around the neck and Sakura was landing several quick punches all across his torso. 

He decided to keep far from the water after that, curled up underneath a nearby tree and watching as everyone else splashed around and caused quite the rambunctious scene together. 

Well, almost everyone. 

“What a drag…”

Sasuke cocked his head from where he was curled up underneath Shino’s jacket. Even with the intention of standing in the shallows and observing, he had brought it along with him, and gave it to Sasuke once he had dragged himself over into the shade. 

“I could be sleeping right now.” Shikamaru muttered from where he leaned back against the trunk of the same tree Sasuke was under. “They’re too loud.” 

As if sensing his stare, Shikamaru opened his eyes a crack to look at him.

Sasuke flushed and quickly turned away. He clenched his eyes shut and chanted reassurances to himself until most of the heat in his face went away. 

Shikamaru had always intimated him. He could never tell just how the alpha felt about him. 

There was nothing more said for awhile, Sasuke staring down at his knees, no noise except for the wind coming up from the lake to cool him off. He was half convinced that Shikamaru had finally found his sleep, when something nudged against his leg. 

It was a wrapped up onigiri. The wrapping had a cute cartoonish moon and sun pattern to it, same as always. 

“Naruto took you out without feeding you, huh?” 

His wording made it seem like he was talking about a neglected pet rather than a person, but it made Sasuke's heart race anyway. Shikamaru had never paid him much attention. Just like his personality would suggest, Sasuke always felt like he was bothering him whenever they were left alone together, like he was getting in the way of something more important. 

Still, that had never stopped him from longing for his attention. 

Shijamaru had noticed he was hungry, one way or another. As soon as they had reached the lake, Naruto had dove into the water and left Sasuke to hesitantly poke around the blond had come back to harass him into the water. 

“Thank you.” Sasuke whispered, as he took it from him and quickly unwrapped it. He had not eaten since the night before. The fact it was handed to him from his mate who was trying to take care of him made it taste even more better. 

Shikamaru huffed and laid back down, turning on his side away from Sasuke. 

Once he had eaten the offered food along with some chilled tea, Sasuke decided to lay down as well. The summer breeze made Shino’s jacket fall down around his ankles, but he was so close to the sleep he had been denying himself hardly even noticed. 

When he woke, the sun was mostly gone, the sky orange and pink, and he closed his eyes back shut before they could open all the way and focus on anything. He could hear everyone sitting out on the grass nearby, the sound of food wrappers and water bottles being paced back and forth mixed in with breathless laughter. 

He was hungry again, but there was now a chill in the air and he didn't want to get up. He nuzzled closer to the warmth of something heavy and moving that was slid up against him, not thinking much of what it was. 

Shino’s jacket had been pulled back over him, but he didnt question it because as soon as he realized it was there, he was already falling back asleep. 

  
  


////

Hard footsteps made Sasuke raise his head from where it hung over the side of the engawa. Breath weak, a merciless rattling in his torso, he attempted to bring himself up onto his hands and knees. He slid back apart, not having the strength, and his chin knocked on the edge and made his whole jaw feel loosened and his stomach gave another dangerous lurch. 

A whimper escaped him when the footsteps came to a stop right behind him, and a hand grabbed him by the back of his haori, right over his clan crest. The fan disappeared amongst the scrunches caused by the long, pale fingers that grabbed him with a harsh fist. 

“What are you doing out here?” A musical voice asked from where they were pressed just a bit too close to his body. Sasuke could see the shadow hanging over him, and he didn't dare to turn and look. 

“Sensei,” Sasuke tried to gasp out around the bile raising in his throat. “Pl-please...I feel sick.” 

“You’re so annoying when you get like this, Sasuke.” The voice sang in his ear, completely dismissing his words. “How will you ever be a good wife if you can't listen to even a tutor?”

Before Sasuke could even think of a word to defend himself, and it was unlikely he even would, he was being dragged back inside the room behind them. 

Sasuke whimpered and tried to hold onto the wooden boards underneath him. His knees burned through the fabric of his clothes as his sickly body was pulled across the floor. 

When they reached the threshold of the room, Sasuke attempted to hold onto the frame of the sliding door. There was a plea on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't know what for. 

Sensei was right anyways, wasn't he? If he was sick, he should just hide it and hold it down. He should never be caught doing something unsightly as getting sick in public. 

Sasuke's grip slipped and the door slammed shut, missing his fingers by mere centimeters. He knew Sensei wouldn't have cared if they were caught or not. If they had been, it would only be his own fault. 

Still, a pained whimper escaped him as he was flung across the room. He did his best to land in a roll, but his sides ached by the time his body came to a stop. A sharp pain shot up his leg and up through his thigh, to between them and into his back.

“Get up.” Takeru commanded in a honey coated voice as Sasuke heard the lock fall down into place. “We still have so much work to do on you.” 

Sasuke did his best to listen. He did, he did. Sensei was right, he was still lacking so much in everything. He had to do better. He must do better. If there was anything that Takeru had taught him, it was that anything less than perfect was unacceptable. 

That was right. He was doing this because he cared. It was all his own fault. He was the one who couldn't listen, he was the one being a burden, he was the one who couldn't do anything right. 

He needed to do more. Listening carefully was the easiest thing to do. 

///

“Sakura-chan, is he waking up?” 

Sasuke slowly came to the sight of a pink blur moving over him. 

As soon as the feeling of his limbs came back to him, he moaned in distress and tried to move away from the hands that were searching over his body. He felt like a thousand bricks had been tied around his limbs and were holding him down to the bed. 

“Sasuke.” 

Sasuke whined and moved away from the hand that tried to caress the side of his face. His stomach was lurching wildly, the back of his throat burning hot. He pulled up his heavy limbs and rolled away from the voices that were calling his name, 

Or at least he thought he was, his head was spinning so badly he couldn't even see who was in the room with him, nor what room he was in. He couldn't even smell it out, because there were too many scents wrapped up all together. 

He thought it was his, but he couldn't be sure. 

His body suddenly dropped, and the next he knew he was laying face frist on something hard and flat. He pulled himself up onto his knees with a gag, wanting to cover his mouth but his body wouldn't listen to him. 

“It's okay, Sasuke.” 

Another voice. Who was that?

What had happened...it was his fault. All his fault. Their fault. His fault. Their fault. He couldn't decide. To him it had seemed like the universe, everything that had ever happened, was at fault. 

It all came back down to him though, didn't it?

A wretched smell hit his nose and it was only then he noticed he had gotten sick. His mouth was layered in a heavy mask of sticky, foul bile. The thought of how disgusting it felt crossed his mind, and then he could feel more of something crawling up his throat again. 

That was right. It was his fault. 

“Sasuke.”

Yet another, someone else he knew he should know but couldn't recognize. His nose was all clogged, his eyes blinded by tears. First from the pressure of his lurching stomach, and the following of just how disgusting he felt, how disgusting he was. 

But was it really his fault? Wasn't it theirs for-

“No, Sasuke.”

Arms around his waist stopped him from falling forward into his own pile of sick. He felt someone brush against his ankles as someone else pulled him up onto his feet. They carried most of his weight, and held him close to him, unbothered by the smell and the fact he probably had sick on his face. 

_What a repulsive little thing you are, Sasuke._

No. It was all his. 

“Neji.” The name fell from his lips without him even being aware of it. 

There had been so much blood. His skin had been torn to bits. He could see right down to the bone. He never knew they looked like that. It was more horrific than he could have ever imagined. It was so wrong, it was all he could think about when he looked at it. It wasn't supposed to be like that, it wasn't right, bones were not supposed to be seen. 

Sasuke's chest heaved up and down, his mouth gasping open with fluids running down from either corner, his eyes bugged and wild, even though he couldn't see a thing. 

He was falling backwards, but still in someone's arms. He clung onto their shirt, pulling at it as if that would save him from the distress of his body. 

“N-Naruto.” 

“Shh, I’ve got you.” A whisper against the shell of his ear.

Where was he? He sounded so close but Sasuke couldn't find him. He struggled against the arms around him, as if that would help, not realizing that the person he was calling for was holding him. 

Tears welled in his eyes and fell over rapidly. 

“Naruto. Where are you?” He asked, voice small and feeble. “Where are you?”

“I’m right here.” That same voice said right against his face. “I didn't go anywhere, Sasuke. I’m right here.”

“Neji,” Sasuke sobbed instead of responding to the reassurance. “Where is he? Where is...where…” He twisted further back, and felt himself hit something soft, something still curled tight around his back. “Where...where...Neji…”

Blood was in his hair. It splattered across his face. Empty purple eyes stared up at him from the rain softened ground, stared into his soul from they threatened to slip down deeper, to a place where he couldn't follow. 

“We’ll get him for you,” The voice promised him, over and over again. “Yeah? Is that it? I’ll get him for you, okay?” 

Sasuke decided he liked the sound of that voice. He didn't know where it came from or whose it was, but it was so nice. A bit pitchy, but it made his heart feel like it wasn't going to explode out from his chest as much. 

His back arched as a horrid scream escaped his throat, his head turning back and forth. The ghost of pain past exploded through his body, as if it was happening at that very moment. 

It was happening again, it was happening again, he thought it was over with. 

He should have known better. He would never be able to escape it. It would always be embedded deep into his body, never to be removed or forgotten. 

“Sakura, can you do anything to help him?”

He knew that voice. 

The name he had said...he knew that too. He was sure that he did. 

“It's alright, Sasuke.” A voice came from over him. Just like back then. The voice had always come from above him. Always looked down at him, spoke down to him, kicked him down and made him stay there, never allowed him to get back up. 

“I’m going to make the pain stop.” A tearful promise, he didn't know where it came from. 

He felt a pain in his arm and he screamed again. He tried to thrash but that same heavyweight held him down, forcing him down onto the softness that suddenly felt burning hot and prickling against his skin. 

Before he could beg to be let go, his eyes closed once again, and did not open again for awhile. 

///

Talking woke him again much later. His eyes fluttered open, and this time he could see. A lot of time had passed, but he was still inside of his room. 

The windows had been left open, letting in the cool breeze of sundown. It reminded him of a dream he thought he had had, but he couldn't remember it. There was a smell in his room, something lemony that covered up something much less pleasant, that hadn't been completely done away with. 

Several voices were coming from outside his room, coming in through the window that led outside, probably open to let the smell out. He recognized them one by one, with great ease. His father, his mother, Itachi, Naruto, Sakura, Tsunade, Sasori, Rin. 

Something moved against him, and it was then he noticed that he was using someone’s thigh as a pillow. Their hand rested on their knee, right below his head. A black shirt ended a bit too soon, leaving the rest of the arm to be covered by a netted shirt. 

His arms were curled around the thigh, a huff announcing that they had realized he was awake. 

His arms tightened around the thigh, stopping them from getting up when their muscles gave a slight flex. 

“Please.” He whispered. “I don't want to be alone. It's scary.” 

It really was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fkjffkdlkskfs sorry this was kind of a short one 
> 
> i rly enjoy writing flashbacks for this fic but im trying to save most of it for the trial. still, i hope the few scenes here were able to give you all a little insight. 
> 
> i know it was probably a bit confusing but like...that was kind of the point. sasuke was very out of it. 
> 
> tbh the ending rly hurt me to write
> 
> ugh the parallels between the first scene and the last...did anyone notice or get it? im curious.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to say that this chapter is going to release some stress and give some answers....i would like to say that but-

“Did you eat anything yesterday?” Shisui asked. He was perched on the edge of Sasuke's bed, head resting in one of his hands as he peered up at him. 

Sasuke sighed, pulling up his blankets a bit further over his waist for no other reason other than to dislodge Shisui a bit. The alpha was getting on his nerves, no matter his good intentions in coming. Whatever those were. “I already told you. Just what Itachi left for me outside the door in the morning.” 

Shisui hummed, pen hitting his temple a few times 

“And you’re sure?” 

“Yes.”

“Is it usual for Itachi to leave food out for you?” 

Not really. That had been more his mothers thing. When they were younger and upset, she would always bring them dinner and set it outside their bedroom doors when they refused to come and eat at the table. She had done it far more times for Itachi, since he had been much more prone to lock himself away in his younger years, but she had done it for Sasuke enough when he had his moments. 

It wasn't completely unusual either. When Sasuke would force himself to study material over and over all throughout his days off, in times of frustration when he felt he couldn't get things right and refused to be called into a calmer state, Itachi would bring him food. Many times he had forced himself into the room, and stood there until Sasuke began to eat. His notes would then be confiscated, but there had been other times when he had just dropped it off when Sasuke was sulky and just wanted to hide. 

“He’s done it before.”

“Since you’ve been home?”

“A few times.” When he had a headache and didn't want to be around anyone, and like yesterday, when he rested long into the day and hadn’t managed to come out for breakfast at a respectable time. Itachi would tire of waiting around for him and make him something so he could go about with this day. Nevermind that Sasuke had already told him he didn't need to cook for him. 

Shisui frowned, but he wrote that down. 

Sasuke didn't understand.

“Why are you asking me things like this?”

Shisui smiled. “Hey, dont worry about it, alright?”

“Shisui.”

Shisui sighed, and tossed down his mandated pen and notepad. It was the kind that no one could read save for the writer, but Sasuke still looked at it. Nothing but blank pages for him, not even a touch of the black ink. 

“What exactly are you investigating?” 

“I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear about that.” It had already been a day since it had happened. 

“If you're asking me questions don't I have the right to know what's going on?” Sasuke went to straighten up, but Shisui gently pushed him back down. His body was still weak, his mind foggy, vision fuzzy. People had been coming in and out since he had woken that morning. Shikamaru and the rest had been gone when he woke up. He had only seen Sakura and Naruto for less than a moment. 

It was all very odd. He knew something was going on, things were being kept from him, but in his current state he didn't have the power to even focus long enough to try and figure it out. His entire body felt disgusting, like it was being held down by an invisible force. He had no idea how he had been able to stand the day before. If he tried to now, he would probably collapse and someone would have to help him back up. 

“I said I thought you might not be ready, but that doesnt mean I won't tell you anyways.” Shisui said, casting a look around the room. It was empty save for the two of them, but that meant very little, and they both knew it.

“Your father wants you to rest, but since it does involve you…” Shisui sighed, and moved a bit closer to him. 

///

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m telling you, I have no idea what this is.” Sasori frowned. He sported heavy bags underneath his eyes. He was not as used to spending more than a day or so awake as he once had, but he didn't think it had any effect on his knowledge of poison. 

He couldn't think of a single person who would be able to make something like this. At least not anyone who would want to use it against Sasuke. He didn't think Sakura would want to poison her own mate, especially since she had been tending to him nearly the entire time he had been out. 

Even if she did, he didn think she had surpassed him yet. She was much more focused on healing, as well as everyone else he could think of that might have the know how to pull something like this off. Poison was his expertise, besides puppetry, and even he was having a hard time with this. 

“Do they know how he came to digest it?”

Something flashed across Tsunade's face, and his eyes narrowed even as it quickly faded and her usual mask was back in place. 

“No.”

A lie. Obviously a lie.

He didn't press on it. 

“There's nothing familiar about it?” Rin distracted him by asking. 

“If it didn't almost kill him, I would have said it was nothing more than a hallucinogen. Those can be deadly too, but this amount is so small…” Tasteless too probably, since Sasuke had eaten it. Slow activating, since it had only started taking the worst of its effect in Sasuke's sleep after Naruto had soothed him down. 

“So we have no idea what it is.” Tsunade concluded, hand coming up to rub between her brows. Her pheromones spiked for a second, filling the room with a quiet rage before it diminished as quickly as it had come. Shizune and Sakura both glanced at her nverously. 

“It’ll take me awhile. I don't have any of my things here that would have made this a lot easier. I can take it apart as much as I want, but if I can't recognize what it was made from then it will become more complicated.” It was odd enough for him that he was having a hard time figuring out what it was. He was much more used to other people being stumped by his creations. 

//

“Still sitting out here, huh?”

Kakashi looked up, forehead pinched. He had to hold back a groan when he noticed who it was, but that would just make him even more likely to come and bother him, and then would make the bothering even worse. 

“I should have known my stalker would come and show up.” Kakashi sighed, laying down. The hard wood straightened out his back and made it crack painfully. He had been sitting there for too long. 

“Shut up.” Obito sighed as he sat down heavily on the engawa, legs spread out and crossing at the ankle. 

“Am I wrong?” Kakashi wondered. He wasn't. Obito had always had the most annoying habit of following him around everywhere, whether he wanted to admit it or not, almost as bad as Gai. His heart softened a bit at the thought of his husband, waiting for him at home, anxious to hear what was going on. He was too good for any of this. Too good for Kakashi even. He was lucky to have him as the sire of his child. 

“If I’m a Kakashi stalker, then you must be a Sasuke stalker.”

“Sitting outside in the garden isn't stalking.”

“No. But sitting four feet from his bedroom is.”

They both looked over at the sliding door. It was midfall and the night was cold, but not so much that it made either of them uncomfortable enough that they wanted to get up. It wasn't the cold that made Kakashi want to leave, but rather the warm body that was pressed right up against his leg. 

“My Kakashi. One moment you’re mad at the pup, and the next you’re sitting out here to protect him.” Obito smirked over his shoulder back at Kakashi, who looked away from him. 

“My, Obito. You sure never know when to shut up.” His greatest talent was, perhaps, saying the very last thing Kakashi wanted to hear. 

“You’ll always love him like he’s your own.” There he went again. 

“Enough, Obito.” Kakashi sat up and went to stand, but was stopped by a hand curling around his wrist and pulling him back. Instead of landing back on the wood, his landed on something just a bit softer. Before he could react, arms wrapped around his waist and held him there. 

“What are you doing?” Kakashi gritted out, trying to stand. 

“Admit it, Kakashi, and I’ll let you go.”

His heart began to race. 

“Admit what?” Sweat poured down the back of his neck. Too suddenly, the cold air had disappeared and he felt like he was running a fever. He squirmed in Obito's lap, trying to get his feet back down on the ground. 

“That no matter how much you say otherwise or try to, you’ll never really hate Sasuke. You love him too much, he's always been your favorite.”

“I can't love someone who almost killed my son.” Kakashi snapped, finally breaking free from the hold on him. He took several quick steps forward and rounded to face Obito, who held his hands up to ward off any attacks that might come his way. 

“That wasn't Sasukes fault.”

“Whose was it then?” Kakashi asked coldly. 

“Kakashi-” Obito tried, voice running softer. 

“If it wasnt him, who did that to Lee?” Kakashi's voice raised in both pitch and volume. 

“Nobody. It was the situation.” 

The engawa creaked threateningly as Obito was slammed down onto it, Kakashi's hand on his throat and pressing down. 

“Stop pretending like you could ever understand how I feel.” Kakashi said, even as the corners of Obito's mouth began to turn blue. The alpha made no attempt to throw Kakashi off of him. “You are not a parent, you are not  _ his _ father, and you never will be.” Kakashi's fingers flexed, and they tightened even more, just for a moment. The fingers trying to pry his fingers off were slowly beginning to change color too. “And don’t touch me. I have a husband, my mate, don't you dare to forget that ever again.”

With that, Kakashi released him and by the time Obito managed to sit himself back up, the omega was gone. 

//

Itachi had a piercing headache, and Hidan wasn't making it any better. 

Of course, it wasn't like he would ever expect him to be able to. Healing was just about the last thing Hidan was good at. 

He still made an attempt. 

“Don't worry babe, we’ll get the bitch that did it.” Vulgar mouthed as always. It had nearly given Itachi heart failure when they had first met, but now he nearly found it charming, if not very familiar.

His fingers pulled at Itachi's toes, not doing much more than irritating him a bit, but he let him think he was being helpful. It was adorable enough that he was trying his hardest to be comforting. 

He wanted to be with Sasuke, but he had been told that he couldn't. As far as he knew, Fugaku and Minato had called for a full on investigation on what had caused such an episode from Sasuke. Itachi could think of very few things that had frightened him in his life than seeing his baby brother writhing around on the floor, nearly falling face first into his own vomit as foam poured from his mouth and tear after tear raced their way down his face. At first none of them had even realized that it was because of an outside source. Itachi had assumed the pressure of everything had gotten to Sasuke and he was suffering a break of some kind. 

It had happened before, or so he had been told, right before Sasuke had left the village. Though it wasn't the same. 

He didn't understand why they were not allowing him to help. Fugaku had taken all of his mates besides Hidan to help him with a variety of things, but he wouldn't let Itachi. He felt useless, sitting up in bed, not able to see Sasuke, not able to go and find who had done this to him. 

Itachi sighed and rolled his head back, hand coming down to rub over his stomach. It had been giving him a lot of trouble recently, but the last day or so had been nearly unmanageable. He hadn't been able to hold anything down, anxiety eating away from him. 

“Hmm.” Itachi hummed, for nothing more than to just give him an answer so he wouldn't feel like Itachi wasn't listening to him. He always listened when his mates were speaking, even if he didn't show it. However, he had learned that if Hidan couldn't tell he was paying attention he would become sulky and tensions would quickly rise. 

“Don't worry your pretty little head.” Hidan kissed his ankle. It was sloppy and wet and made him cringe and his stomach lurch, but only because he could feel that his skin had gotten wet. Normally it wouldn't have bothered him. He was so sensitive lately that it was frustrating just to exist. 

He wouldn't say that any of his mates were well versed in comforting, most of them were better at giving each other physical support rather than emotional. Hidan was outstandingly bad at it, at least to him and that was saying something, considering the harsh competition. 

Itachi sighed and slowly sat up. Hidan grabbed his wrists clumsily and helped him, watching with those curious purple eyes of his as Itachi adjusted himself against the pillows. 

If he couldn't take any medicine to help with the tension that was somehow still growing between his brows, there was only one other way that was likely to work. 

Hidan never needed much convincing. He was particularly thankful for that this time. Not only was he not good at being seductive, but he didn't think he had it in him to even try at this point. 

Itachi merely undid the belt of his robe and pushed it apart a little, before drawing his legs up and spreading them apart, feet planted on the bed. 

Hidan rushed over with all the enthusiasm of a puppy being offered a treat. He wasn't so callous that he would just rush to the place between Itachi's legs-though there was once a time that he had been-and wrapped Itachi up in his arms and began to kiss him. 

Already Itachi could feel some relief. His alphas smell surrounding him, the feel of their skin touching one another, bodies curled so close together, strong arms wrapped around him. Hidan was an unfairly talented kisser, it always made his toes curl no matter how long they had been together. 

Things were going quite well until Hidan suddenly paused, one hand on Itachi's hip and the other cupping his chest.

Hidan blinked confusingly down at them and Itachi followed his gaze. 

“Did your tits get bigger?” 

Like other male omegas, Itachi was pretty much flat chested. Unless-

Hidan suddenly slumped down on top of him, a knot already swelling at the back of his head. It had happened so quickly that Itachi had not been able to react to the seven people that were suddenly inside of his room. 

Recently, his reflexes had been slowing down, and he wasn't as aware of his surroundings as he usually was. 

Before he could try to even touch his husband's unconscious body, he was pulled off of him. Itachi carefully pulled his short robe closed and tied the sash back into place, all of the eyes in the room never leaving his hands. 

“Itachi.” A figure stood over him, keeping him down and in place. The voice sounded a bit regretful. 

“Yamato.” Itachi answered. “Can I ask what this is about?”

“We’re taking you into custody. Yondaime’s order.” Again, that regretful tone. It was not befitting of a member of ANBU and usually no matter what it would have not been present. 

“And what for?” Itachi sat up and Yamato let him. He now stood on the side of the bed and offered out a hand, one that Itachi took. 

“The attempted murder of Uchiha Sasuke.” Another masked figure said from the shadows. 

Itachi nodded. He supposed there was nothing else they would be here for. Itachi had not done anything that the village would disapprove of in a very long time. 

Obviously, they would not send his father or anyone else from the military police to make the arrest. That would cause an uproar from the clan. Once he was in a cell, there was very little else that could be done unless drastic measures he knew everyone would want to avoid were taken. 

No one else from the force would be able to take him anyways. Shisui might have been the exception to that. Itachi was unsure whether or not his beloved friend would be able to do it or not. The ANBU would be the best bet, especially with Yamato taking charge. 

Itachi went silently, allowing for Yamato to take his hands behind his back and lace something around his wrists. ANBU was not a place where targets were taken into custody, but the material had changed from what they used to use to hold their targets in place when it was necessary. Itachi didn't bother to ask or even wonder. 

One of the others nudged over a pair of slippers his way, since anything else would have taken some effort into getting him in. He was surprised enough that they had given him this luxury. 

Itachi muttered his thanks and slipped his feet inside, allowing for Yamato to lead him out of the room. 

He only hoped someone would find Hidan soon enough and get him off the ground. It was too cold for him to stay down there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much sasuke in this chapter but we'll probably see more of him next time~ 
> 
> it will be explained further in later chapters but just to avoid confusion for now, sasukes panic attack was all natural. that still needs to be explained but that will be handled later on. However, everything that happened afterwards was caused by the poison that was given to him. that will be explained more next chapter. probably. i dont think we have to look far to see who was the real culprit behind that tho...
> 
> in this au, shisui works with the uchiha military police. he was worried they might suspect itachi but he didnt think they would take it so far so fast. (he didnt tell sasuke itachi was being suspected tho, he just told sasuke the police were investigating what had happened and that he was poisoned. since he literally didnt realize he had been poisoned) 
> 
> oh kakashi...i love u but ur a mess
> 
> neji where are you~~ and lee and tenten~ and GAI. i miss them. they'll show up soon enough. 
> 
> also hidan isnt dead hes just knocked tf out
> 
> and itachi...i think i gave enough hints as to what is going on with him but if not that will be brought to light at some point too
> 
> let me know what u thought if u want~

**Author's Note:**

> itachi @ kakashi: happy birthday bitch i brought you uhhhhh your sons long lost mate 
> 
> tbh this fic is just rly self indulgent, like most of my other ones. pls lemme know if youd be interested in seeing more of it


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